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Haha- yeah, on tv and irl

There's your traditional successes, then there's putting dinner in the crockpot first thing in the morning.

Playing along to the sound of your heart with my didgeridoo.

i can’t offer you advice, but please take this *hands you some mac & cheese out of a ziploc bag

I'm excited to finally announce that the website my friend and I made, rentagainstthemachine.com, is ready for beta testing! registered users can anonymously rate and review their landlords, while anyone can read reviews that have been posted

It's dangerous to go alone. Take this (the key to the locked up deodorants at CVS)

sometimes I just tell my brain what it wants to hear

Every junk drawer eventually becomes a biography.

Mechanic: what kind of sound is it making? Me: pls don’t make me do sound effects

woah marketplace going for my jugular

one time i drank so much mountain dew that i passed out on the floor of the 7-eleven & when i woke up my name was cody & i was being chased by the cops.

"If"

I need a TV that can tell me if I've seen this show before and maybe also if I have food on my face

the two self-written spotify bios: “established way back in 2023, SKIBIDI DRIVE have been credited for inventing music. touring with contemporaries like BILLY CORGAN’s roadie and EFFERVESCENT, both crowds and critics believe they are the best humanity has to offer.” and “rock bamd from cali (:”

Yeah, they just pick the nearest exit

if you’re new to bsky we call posts buttholes “nice butthole man” “thanks I like your butthole too”

Liking and sharing buttholes with ma buds

In the war on drugs, I had bone spurs.

[girl introducing boyfriend to parents in 2026] GF: Mom, dad, this is Ricky, he has fuckin boss-ass content

My first job was elevator phone answerer and most people get stuck because they just want someone to talk to, to tell them it's okay to go up through the trapdoor