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ahh, Tuesday. the Monday of the rest of the week.

They really do have cameras everywhere, don’t they? 😂

Trying to satiate these you cravings with filled sausages and pickle spears.

I found a list of slang from the 30s. A rich/important guy was called "a big butter and egg man" and I'm going to start saying that immediately

You ever look at a person and realize uh oh

so i’m just supposed to close my eyes and let my body rest and repair itself while my mind goes on a journey? would you listen to yourself, that’s insane.

5 Signs You're Bad at Math Number six will surprise you!

Sorry! Can’t come in to work today. I hate it

One pickle in the hand is better than two in the bush or whatever. Wait, what? That can’t be right…

Do you prefer your bidet flat or carbonated?

the design in my latte was a mushroom cloud is that good

It's very Canadian of me to say that I'm out and about

In the criminal justice system, traffic crimes involving unnecessarily large family cars are considered especially heinous. These are their stories DUNDUN *law and order SUV*

I dip my chip into your dip when I dip, you dip, we dip

why didn’t they call it the f spot

I’ve decided that people are just a no for me.

Same manure, different Monday.

Everyone hates the picture on their license to kill

somewhere in an attic there must be a portrait of me not being angry

if just one of us could sleep we'd be unstoppable