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I once came second in a boat race when my boat capsized before the starting horn, it took me the whole race to right it, and no one noticed me until I crossed the line.

I was denied participation in the american military cuz my left testicle is “biggish”

I was an extra in the movie Billy Madison.

Scoring so high on my university placement exam for Spanish that I exempted all foreign language requirements for my degree. I was running a fever in the neighborhood of 103 at the time. I should note that I don't actually speak Spanish.

Back in high school, I wrote prize-winning tentacle smut... and then I called out a classmate for plagiarism when he downloaded the story and turned it in as an English assignment, just to weird out the teacher. That went weird for me, and very, very bad for the plagiarist...

I learned 50 prepositions, in alphabetical order in junior high school for English class, and more than 45 years later, I can still recite them by heart and at lightning speed. I have yet to figure out how this helps me or greater humanity, but maybe some day it'll come in handy. 🤷‍♀️

I was interviewed by a French newspaper about the plight of the exiled American smoker. 24 years ago. Heh. Had my picture with the article and everything.

I helped identify the "Toynbee Idea in Kubrick's 2001 Resurrect Dead on Planet Jupiter" tile-maker.

In the 1990s I started the women's rugby club at my university (after first teaching several of my friends how to play). Now...there are international women's leagues, and they are in the Olympics. I love that!

I'm not sure that this is an accomplishment per say, but it is weird. 18 years ago I recorded a guy cosplaying as Invincible and uploaded it to youtube. It had less than 5k views as of July 4th, 2026. Then another youtuber found it, called it the oldest Invincible cosplay video on youtube and did

Dressed up as Deadpool for Halloween 1991 after seeing him in X-Force #2, making me, as far as I know, the first person to ever cosplay as Deadpool. Much love to my mom for this costume: just sweat shirt/pants with patches over them.

I picked up Jim Rose of Circus fame at the Austin airport for a show. He asked me to volunteer to take part. How could I say no? I got to be a human dartboard at a Freakshow Festival! People threw darts at a target I was holding over my back. Most missed. I'd do it again.

When I was about 9, my mom took me to the ballet. The man sitting next to us was writing in a reporters notebook. I slept through the last half of the performance. The next day in the paper, the review said "if the performance wasn't lacking, the fellow next to me wouldn't have been snoring)

I recreated the Ghostbusters title logos and uploaded them as transparent files for people to use, and they're all over social media and YouTube more than the legitimate official logos lately. So I guess success?

I personally annoyed the new professor at my grad school when I followed him and our guest speaker, Dr. Bloebel, to the professor's car so I could speak with Dr. Bloebel as I wasn't invited to the luncheon with him like my fellow graduate students were

Not me, but my husband, who fixed lunch for Gordie Howe at our house. Hubs then snuck off to our bedroom to tell me about it. For the record, it was a turkey sandwich.

I won first and third prizes in a limerick competition set by the Network of Government and Library Information Professionals.

Inspired a (minor) character in a romance novel

Uhh... probably directing traffic while actually in the middle of a firefight during the uprising in MPLS in '20. Idk why, people do weird things in stressful situations, but a guy was running down the street shooting at a car full of guys and I just threw my hands up in the air in exasperation

I drove a van full of reporters in a motorcade taking Sarah Palin from the airport to a hotel where she was going to give a speech, when she was running for VP in 2008. I was given instructions by the Secret Service on what to do if other vehicles suddenly sped away from the motorcade.

I made my orchestral conducting debut in college while wearing a gorilla suit.

last year I started trying to figuure out exactly what equations are included in Ruler Moriarty's Noble Phantasm. (further context: a character in Fate Grand Order, a mobile game in the wider Fate series. his initial costume's "ultimate ability" surrounds enemies with a bunch of equations.) (1/2)

Customizing (at my peak) 742 Fisher Price Little People youtu.be/ZFME93Vn9_M?...

I became online acquaintances with pro snowboarder and Olympics announcer Todd Richards (the "that was boring" guy) on Twitter back when it was good after talking about Star Wars and Lord of the Rings.

Changing the law on paternity leave rights simply by asking a question (as part of my Masters degree research) that nobody else had thought to before. Never be afraid to ask questions. Never assume they’d already been asked!

A picture of me ended up on the Wikipedia page for BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES, a show I never worked on. (I moderated a panel with the BTAS cast & crew at the 2019 East Coast Comic Con, and a picture of the panel was on the Wikipedia page for several years. It’s not on there any longer, sadly.)

I completely blacked out our bedroom for a night working day sleeping husband. Like. You can't see your hand in front of your face. I hope they mention this at my funeral.

I touched the actual bone of my own skull.

I drew a comic in Middle English featuring sexy chickens (Chaucer adaptation) for my MA thesis and it ended up in an exhibition at Oxford’s Bodleian Library! I also got to help with the exhibition and lead zine workshops! Still feels like a fever dream 🧡

My high school English teacher told me I was the only person she’d ever seen laugh out loud reading Henry James. I’m not sure she meant it as a compliment.

I talked @thegeekpreacher.bsky.social into officiating my actual real life wedding, after getting to know him through attending cons from 2013 onwards.

I once ran an automotive enthusiasts' site where the members depleted the Mercedes Benz US/Canadian inventory of paddle shifters once it was discovered that modification was plug-and-play affair.

Won a year of free SmashBurger as a teen. Did not expect that to happen 🍔🍟

I learned how to carve and paint proper Krampus masks in the traditional manner this year. Does that count?

I co-wrote a 70 person LARP that ran over a weekend. It took 5 years to complete and was well reviewed by the players.

I co-authored an academic paper on Surströmming, the Swedish fermented fish so smelly it has to be opened outside. It has to be smuggled out of Sweden. tl;dr: Enjoy(?) for its flavor but don't expect to see it in your poop pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36920238/

I was redoing my store windows, apparently when bending over my butt was slightly exposed. My husband said "there's a man on sidewalk looking at your a$$" i turn around and screamed at the guy "what are you looking at pervert?" It was Donald Rumsfeld. I felt accomplished

I won the first (and I believe, only) photoshop Olympics on Something Awful dot com. I never received my prizes.

Working in the documents section of a forensic lab I made test articles - erased signatures on passport docs - that beat the new shiny detection system

In college, I survived for two weeks on nothing but vodka, coffee, energy drinks, and candy... passed all my finals and discovered several new dimensions.

2, short film related: Starred in one dressed as a robot, my cousin directed. Won audience fave at their uni film festival. Got my BF/FWB to star in a short reenacting scenes from famous movies in the library for a college contest. Won an iPad, 1st place prize. Married him. Better prize.

In high school I won a regional science fair and a second award from the air force for innovation for a totally bullshit project while drunk on whiskey me and my partner drank in the bathroom at the science center. I think a little bit of liquid courage made us much more convincing at bluffing.

At school there was a chess club and I joined and by pure dumb luck, I was number one on the ladder board for a month because all the top players kept making mistakes. I think they were overconfident as I just showed up and in my first game beat the best in the club. I was the only girl 1/x

Making an Australian so impressed he actually said "Strewth".

Picked a lock with a shoelace.

I introduced Billy Bragg at the SEAC concert in MI and he called me comrade

Oh, I was one of the defendants that got arrested for sitting on the sidewalk (anti homeless law) & got that law ruled unconstitutional... in traffic court (the judge was stoked to so the case). The govt appealed me bc they thought I wouldn't fight but the ACLU repped me and I won. People v Me.

Got called a feminazi by Rush Limbaugh and hung up on on his radio show in when I was 21, in 1990

I snuck a Final Fantasy reference into a poem that got accepted into a literary mag

I won a Sam's Club cake after winning a hokey-pokey speed dance off in the store.

Figured out how to wiggle my ears in sixth grade. I saw that if I wiggled my eyebrows, my ears would wiggle, so I would hold my eyebrows in place until I figured out how to wiggle my ears. Now I can wiggle my left ear separately

As a trans woman: When one boob became distinctly bigger than the other boob.

Being quoted on the back cover of the Sunstone TPB

I got myself elected into the Electoral College at the 2004 Texas Democratic Convention.

Driving in a Presidential Motorcade...it was wild!!!!

350K words of MLP fanfic...

I'm the second-most-experienced web-searcher on the planet.

I have helped build and run three of the world's tallest non-mechanical rod puppets.

I was the first student to get licensed from a major update to skydiving training in the United States and then fast tracked my ass to become the first such graduate to become instructor in that program as well. This is now the standard training program around the United States

One of comic book articles just got translated into Italian.

I (we, really) made the pope cry.

I did a live reading of Getrude Stein's "Patriarchal Poetry."

I was working at a furry con in the board game room and someone came up saying their fursona was a chupacabra and they didn't know any board games with chupacabra and it was bumming them out. I taught them Chupacabra Dice which we had. They were so happy. They gave me a bracelet I still have.

I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was 18, and the very first time I drove to college I got into a wreck and totaled the car. The accomplishment, you ask? * my mom got a new car * I inherited my mom’s old car which was a MASSIVE upgrade to the car I totaled

I was an extra on the hospital drama The Night Shift. The two episodes I was there for were directed by Eriq LaSalle and Jason Priestley and the one I actually briefly appeared in also guest-starred D.B. Sweeney. I take every opportunity I can to say, "I'm not a doctor, I just play one on TV."

I was a small time pro wrestler in the 90s, won the "Match of the year" award one year simply because I accidently cut a vein in my forehead during the match.

I had weird streak of average luck. Local market had just me and the part time cashier in it and they had just stocked a folder with 4€ scratch lottery tickets. So I bought one and won my 4€ back with it & then bought another 4€ ticket for about 14 times in a row until I finaly hit an empty ticket

I got my job to stop asking for proof of dr appointments for EVERY request. They asked me for proof & said it didn’t need to include what the appointments were for, but one office was literally named [Local] Breast Cancer Center & the other was a well-known mammogram provider. I did not have cancer.

I got the head coach of a 6A Texas State Champion high school football team to change the way he did practice. He was having the kids run up & down stadium steps and mine was just back from knee surgery due to a football injury. It might have been the “attorney” part of my email signature… 🤷🏼‍♀️

I beat George R.R. Martin for an award we were both in the running for, invented and administered by George R.R. Martin

Not sure if it's an accomplishment, but in grade school I was part of a psychological test where we were shown 10 random shapes too quickly to be seen. Then we were shown two shapes for a long period. One group was asked to decide which one they had seen before the other which one they liked better.

I once drew up a fee agreement for a lawyer to be paid $2K in Littleneck clams. I drove a 90-mile loop one day to serve 12 Subpoenas in a case that ultimately forced closure of the best wings restaurant in the region. I told friends to eat up & enjoy their #1 wings at the local “wings fest” prior.

A few years ago I Binky Barnesed the metropolitan museum of art, I spotted that Paul Cadmus 7 deadly sins were mislabeled. I pulled up the Met website to confirm, called over the nearest person working there and showed them the corrections. No idea if it ever got corrected, but I count it.

A porn star asked me what was for lunch and I told her

I put on my socks and underwear without falling down!

I had a roommate once who liked to stick his tongue out at me as a joke. One day I snatched it while wearing oven mitts. The look of surprise on his face was priceless

Eric Schneiderman, former NYS attorney general who resigned office after multiple sexual abuse allegations, read an article I wrote and sought out help and began mediation with his victims because of it.

I saved my dog who had fallen through the ice of a pond - by falling through myself. (fortunately the water was only chest high)

I talked John Denver into reading 'Red Dragon' by Thomas Harris.