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I HOPE THIS EMAIL FINDS YOU DISEMBOWELLED
Профиль
Torsion Ham
Профиль VivelyEnvisioner of the Planet Of The Horses. Veteran potato observer. Sample text. Profile pic by @frovo.bsky.social
⟳ Репост от Torsion Ham
Noting that there were no empty seats to switch to on the entirely full bus, sources confirmed Tuesday morning that a belching, groaning passenger seated directly behind a local woman had announced, “Oh fuck.”
‘Oh Fuck,’ Announces Belching, Groaning Bus Passenger Directly Behind WomanCHICAGO—Noting that there were no empty seats to switch to on the entirely full bus, sources confirmed Tuesday morning that a belching, groaning passenger seated directly behind a local woman had anno...theonion.com
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⟳ Репост от Torsion Ham
how do I tell the Duolingo owl that I don't give a rats arse about losing my streak
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Buying a pair of jeans with those explosive bolts they used to detach the booster from the space shuttle in the thighs in case I need to go "jorts mode" right then and there.
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People are always using the urinal as a trash can. Spitting gum into it. Empty snack wrappers. Last time I looked, I saw a feeble, sniveling creature. It peered up at me, it called me father. Walking it down the aisle was the most rewarding experience of my life
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the poster says that before he was scrooge he was ebenezer but that isn't true because his surname was decided by western tradition the moment he was born but his forename was chosen sometime later so more correctly he was scrooge before he was ebenezer
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I like how this makes it seem like the Guardian are particularly worried about them.
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There's no law against bringing a rotisserie chicken onto an airplane. But a liquified rotisserie chicken would be against the rules. Therefore there must be a minimum acceptable degree of chicken viscosity that's suitable for air travel
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garbage man said he’s going to put me on a performance plan if i don’t show a real effort to “dial up the garbage”
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you have to put a seat belt on when you're in a car. you have to put a seat belt on when you're on a plane. you should have to put a seat belt on when you vote
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[whispering to date while watching The Odyssey when Chappie first appears on the screen] I think we’re in the wrong theater