Профиль

I daydream about sandwiches more than I should probably admit.

a glory hole but you reach in and pick a toy from the prize chest

Why is it an insult to call some place a “one-horse town?” They’re doing okay. They’ve got a horse

Whenever someone tells me to believe it or not…well what the fuck else am I gonna do?

Be yourself, but over there.

If it looks like a duck & swims like a duck & talks like an angry duck policeman, then you’re about to fail a sobriety test

Me: It’s sweet how my cat sits on my chest to comfort me when I’m sick in bed. Cat: I think I’ll eat the eyes first.

It takes less than 30 seconds to bite a butt

I’m 50 yo with no libido I don’t give a crap about my granny panty lines showin

You're only as old as you feel, look, and are.

Calculating how many Frank's Red Hot sauce packets I need to steal from the hospital cafeteria to cover the copay

I’m not depressed. In my culture it is completely normal to play solitaire in the dark for five hours straight without moving

forcing my opinion on all who enter here but you also get a cupcake

gonna grow my hair long- just haven’t decided which one yet

Instill me with hyped up fear and rescue me harder, daddy.

In 2018 I moved to Cleveland and LeBron James left. Even trade.

Relationship update: It’s getting pretty serious between me and this loaf of banana bread.

Groceries Paradox: the refrigerator and pantry are full of items I don’t want to eat — but I’m the one who did the shopping

Which recycling bin do I put my faith in humanity in?

Favorite Chops:‬ ‪1. Karate‬ ‪2. Judo‬ ‪3. Pork‬