Профиль

It is absolutely heartbreaking to listen to either of the Obamas speak at this point. Trump is horrible and an embarrassment.

Let the anticipation kill you

all celery all day

Cats are wise, in their unique cattish way. Just observe. Do cats wake up one day, and decide to go camping?

we should build an empire where the only currency is doing something nice

washing down my diarrhea lettuce salad with a tall refreshing glass of Panera murder lemonade

These air conditions will likely last for months at a time in the not too distant future

i just made mother nature my bitch by forgetfully leaving my frozen pizza in the car and having her cook it for me. my car smells delicious

i’m totally fine btw, completely normal

rocking up to the cat shelter with my reusable totes like hi im here to do my shopping

"People love you for more than just your looks," I mumble to the old man staring at me in the mirror.

Lol..lots of lettuce. Lol..lots of luck.

I accidentally said “you too” to the self-checkout.

the scarlet letter a on my chest stands for adorable

Sitting in the sun waiting to self combust.

I'm calling it a lettuce smoothie cause explosive diarrhea sounds dangerous.

Taco Bell: Make a run for the border we think they’ve got a couple of public toilets there

so just to recap... don't eat the food, don't breathe the air, don't leave your home

I don't always give up easily, but I've gotten better at it