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There’s a guy at the farmers market who will read your tomato’s aura for a quarter

A dragonfly landing on my shoulder for awhile would fix me

In the spirit of being bespectacled and bejeweled, today I am besunglassed and bejortsed

>>> dog’s gone wiggle mode

Not now. Not here. Not under my brand new semi-adjustable louvered aluminum pergola

Why is it an insult to call some place a “one-horse town?” They’re doing okay. They’ve got a horse

Gave my garden onions a makeover

Take this weekend to relax. Stroll the farmers market. Sip an iced coffee. Row into a sea cave searching for haunted pirate treasure

If you want a high-stakes drama that shakes you to your very core, you can see The Odyssey. Or just remember being in the checkout line with a cart full of groceries and your mom says she’ll be right back

when my phone is fully charged: (calm, rational) hello when i’m on 2%: (wild-eyed, sweaty) i must know the filming locations for vertigo immediately