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someone should have stopped me from buying this cordless glue gun it has made me too powerful

GASP! forgot about Ecco the Dolphin

sorry we got a great deal on "seconds" from the dildo factory

I use the Casino Night Zone theme as my ringtone

next they'll be claiming no one knew you could control Tails with the second controller in 1 player mode

mmmm skeleton soup

never played that one but I'm willing to listen

That one is in my top 5 right along with The Thing

maybe someone will trade you

Post a horror movie GIF 💀

I got a sticky hand what did you guys get

a glory hole but you reach in and pick a toy from the prize chest

Violence can never be justified but in your case I’m prepared to make an exception.

How I greet my colleagues:

maybe baby likes it in the corner, johnny maybe sitting in the corner allows her to see all angles of the room but did you ask her? no you’re too busy pelvis thrusting

"You've been selected to complete the survey," says the woman with the clip board. Sigh. "This is the sixth time." But the line up to get into purgatory is long and I have run out of things to do with my hands. I take the proffered pen and begin to answer the questions again.

Overnight Oats are an easy way to start your day with something cold and clammy, a textural nightmare, a sensory prop labeled "iced brains" in a haunted house

I don’t want to die peacefully in my sleep.. I’d rather be surrounded by force ghosts of loved ones who have gone before me while I do something brave.