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ha ha ha ha! you'll never stop my newest plan, Sonic. I had Sage sell all your personal data! now your inbox will be full of spam...forever!!!

human beings have normal names like Mark whereas extraterrestrials have ludicrous names, like Mork

I transferred all my savings into a Bluesky Money account but now I can’t seem to log in, is anyone else having the same problem?

APRIL 1815: Napoleon has plunged Europe into war. Only the British fleet stands before him. Naval battles are now known as “regular battles”

yet another attack on the proud baby talkin' people of Michigan by coastal elites in Detroit

How could the DNC be millions of dollars in debt?!? This makes no sense, they've sent so many annoying text messages

Homer could’ve saved us all these debates about which translation of the Odyssey is the best if he’d just written it in English in the first place

for the past month i've been buying haunted dolls and having them shipped to tails house

Still reeling from going to the zoo this weekend and seeing an orangutan, which is basically a person, just sitting there in a hammock. I was tearing up imagining being a sentient creature in a captivity, then looked at my husband, who sighed a troubled sigh and murmured, “I wish I were in a zoo”

I love the idea of making an announcement where it’s like “We’re going to try and make our movies GOOD this time”

The anti-data center movement is like "I don't want to pay more money for a thing that will not benefit me at all and will actively make my life measurably worse in a bunch of ways" and the pro-data center movement is like "We want it to be illegal for you to not like us."

As you know, my main concern, which is shared with Vice President Hitler…

Discovering new levels of LinkedIness

Mage Bully (zapping you): Why are you zapping yourself?

Buzz Aldrin forgot a sixer of Coors on the moon and though Alan Bean and Pete Conrad of Apollo 12 claim they found only empties, Buzz contends they drank them on the way back, as he'd hoped to do. When Bean offered in 1970 to grab more at 7-11 Aldrin barked "I want MOON beer!" They never spoke again

gotta run this one back

Posts on the *evil site. What the hell, auto correct

My mom is on TikTok and sends ones she likes to me. Anyway, I cannot emphasize enough how awful the UI is when combined with how people organize their videos (half reaction, half original with promotional shit and some other stuff overlaid, in this case). Truly repulsive.

Because that’s what you’re known for making?