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Still reeling from going to the zoo this weekend and seeing an orangutan, which is basically a person, just sitting there in a hammock. I was tearing up imagining being a sentient creature in a captivity, then looked at my husband, who sighed a troubled sigh and murmured, “I wish I were in a zoo”

anybody who actually puts money in this should be made a ward of the state

please stop suggesting I solve my problem by changing my behavior. I do not want to do that

n/m we're back baby

Paul Rudd should have won an Emmy for his work as Tina Belcher's horse

gotta run this one back

male loneliness epidemic is here to stay

X Money? Oh you mean alimony!! Yeah I pay a ton

It's so hot here that our local weatherman has switched to Celsius "to help psychologically".

july doldrums

Great company

New York is a suburb of Philadelphia

this is what every damn Monday feels like fellas, join the club

[sweeping assorted bone shards aside with my foot] Senator Fetterman strongly condemns Dr. El-Sayed's comments

wow man. brave of you to get out before things really got bad

whereas now it seems to have evolved into "never show a murderer lookin' all happy" which feels less urgent an issue

like I thought originally the point was that many media outlets would print mugshots for black people in any context even when it made zero sense or was irrelevant and for white people even the most egregious crimes merited a pro shot family portrait

people are doing the jet ski meme for that family annihilator but like. he's also dead. it's not like there's a mugshot. I guess you could dig around for separate photos or just crop him out?

🧪