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My mentor 300 lifetimes ago: Incantations aren’t meant to be said with ease. In uttering the words, you give of yourself. You wince in pain, knowing that suffering’s seed blooms into power’s bounty. Me now: Can I please get the Gobble That Thang Turkey Melt, O-O-Open-Face, please. Lovefunk Style.

DeboraGlonch: sitting on tarmac for hour and 20 minutes now unbelievable!! NotTarmac: You’re likely sitting on asphalt! As tarmac is rarely used on modern taxiways Biffdog: believe you are “sitting” on a plane ;) DeboraGlonch: making changes vis a vis weapons and impulses previously controlled

Lmao

The toilet is not funny because it is gross. The toilet is funny because it is necessary.

Oh, you want to go to the actual USPS tracking page? It’s going to take 17 clicks. You’re sure you don’t want to just stay here on the company website? Where we mark your order status as Get Ready for This Jelly, Something Epic This Way Comes, and Boom Shakalaka?

it seems to be a permanent change because I can eat it “casually” now and love it. but I saw my life flash before my eyes with that first bite, especially because I also made some for my fiancé who was in absolute misery lol

Something so nuts happened to me when I tried the 2x where the first couple bites, i was in hell, and then my senses just rewired to tamp it down. I got instantaneously addicted and could NOT stop thinking about the leftovers the next day but I thought I’d better not have it 2 days in a row lol

Anyone: Wait’ll you meet him 😂 He’s the funniest guy I know. You’re gonna love him 🤣 The guy: Syphilis gay sisterwife. Buttsex piano gay. Pornogay. Dildoweed. 🎩🙂‍↕️🪄

goo is supposed to be on the ground. where else is it supposed to be!

may I pass this on to the ground gel council

RGGP for u & me

every healthy ecosystem has a robust ground gel presence

now that is some primo goo. we should all have more goo

Hapless rube in commercial for AI: Gemini, what does the recipe mean by, “finish by broiling on top rack for 4 minutes”? 😩 Gemini: Amazing job on the cooking! It can be scary. First of all, an oven is like an epic car without wheels that gets hot

🧪

🚂💡🚂

It’s good to get 1,700 hundred emails every day with the subject line “Psssst 👀” and then the body just says like, “Adirondack chair.”

When you’re visiting your parents and trying to decide where to go for dinner, your dad switches to a tab he’s had open since noon, for a place with strips of newspaper all over the ground like a rabbit cage

woof!

Google search: my girl film AI Overview: Whether you’re looking to film your girl or watch the 1991 coming of age classic My Girl, one thing’s for sure: you’re in for some fun! To help me further assist you, tell me what stunts your girl will be doing or if you’ve ever died from bees