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nexplanon was my faveeeee

“Self-care” used to mean a bubble bath. Now it means crying in the car for exactly the length of one song.

when i jumped to the recipe the website called me a bitch

one thing about me is that i want to hear about your good news

Blocking me will give you explosive diarrhea.

google translate my brain

girl who is just doing her best

[least intimidating voice you’ve ever heard] don’t make me spin the block on your bitch ass my chopper make you lean fr

please don't mute me, I have important things to say like "poo poo" and "pee pee"

why is it always incandescent why can’t i be bioluminescent with rage

she just like me fr

my promise to you: i will Never "start my day right" by making my bed

i have nothing to post 😭 𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ𝔸ℝ𝔼

Going down the plughole must be pretty fun if you're water

*just finished my 5th cigar of the morning, my voice is fucking shot to hell* (rubbing my hands together): cool kids these days don’t like gabagool

got a lot going on lately but not so much that I can't bedazzle my pill bottles

a day will come when you think yourself safe and happy and suddenly your joy will turn to asses in your mouth

I have never learned how to post :(

bluesky is actually really fun if you know how to post