Профиль

Your honor, I'd like to recite my opening statement in Khoisan click language.

EVERYBODY WAKE UP! ITS CHRISTMAS! (on QVC)

A cockring is basically a push up bra for my balls

[Edith Piaf voice]

the weather & the calendar have gone their seperate ways

Americans use Z instead of S out of sheer spite don't think we don't see you.

Asking AI to write my wedding vows and adding the prompt 'make it from the heart'

Tune.

being tall means i’m always bumping my head on floating cubes and then having coins rain down

As Sir Isaac Newton exclaimed while he was inventing apples, ' cor blimey, I could murder a nice apple pie right now ' could nobody fact check this please.

Never has the word ' fuuuuuuuck ' been such a perfect embodiment of the times we find ourselves in.

Telescopes probably use mirrors which means there is absolutely no way to know how many vampires there are in space.

My robot vacuum's name is Clean Latifah.

Yea took 20 years tho'

Attempting to absorb enough sunlight to power my personality for the next six days

I'dike to announce that Duolingo and I are on a break.

you cant fail at life if you never hand in your paper

Not now route guidance, not now.

Follow your nose. Like our forefathers.