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Brooklyn

who did nice today?

My 13 year old taught himself how to solve a Rubik Cube on YouTube today and I feel like I’m kind of done as a parent. ✅

Another successful pizza in the park🍕 this one was an Elote inspired pizza!

"Well I thought it was funny."—me at the end of every day on bluesky

They’re too much deliciousness 🤤 definitely not buying them again 🙂‍↔️

🎵 Matcha matcha man You gotta be a matcha man 🎵

Lyrical age verification: 🎶 Now the beaver once slept for seven days, and it gave us all an awful fright. 🎶

I can scrub down my entire house with a product that kills 99.9% of bacteria and my wife will still find the .1% I missed.

Mark! Are you a staffer?!

Country verification: 🎶 for he goes burnin down and down white water 🎵

That was her actual text 🤣

It’s so inappropriate but it’s funny. I shouldn’t laugh.

🤣🤣🤣

in this world ur either a fart smella or a smart fella

Lyrical age verification: 🎶breaking the law, breaking the law 🎸 🎶

make the sun jealous by flashing your boobs to the moon tonight

Peacocking, but it's just the pockets hanging out of the bottom of my homemade jorts

…Near Heh