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(I am stitch here btw, obv)

You ever look at a person and realize uh oh

i have a new goal in life suddenly

Even when a Nolan movie doesn’t resonate with me (I usually like them but don’t love them), I appreciate them for giving straight men an opportunity to openly weep

COMPARTMENTALIZATION IS KEY THAT WAS SAID BY INTERNET ME, LEAVE HER OUT OF THIS OK HOW DARE YOU

A family member texted me a screenshot of an old post of mine from a meme site and my response was immediately “who dis??? don’t know her thx” 🥸 Like, PLEASE RESPECT MY BOUNDARIES OK

The Kool Aid Man ladles directly from his head, saying "Take this when you are thirsty and drink, for this is my blood"

💯💯💯

😌✲ﾟƬʜᵃℕҡ ყօϋ

"i'll see you in hell!" ok well as long as we get to see each other :)

this skeet feels like it should have been a tumblr post

Me neither. But my brain thinks of it as Little Sleep™️ Microdosing ZZZ’s😴

some of the most fun you can have is calmly telling an angry man "Wow, you seem really emotional right now" lmao

told an angry man at work this weekend to lower his voice

The fact this country thinks there's equal political violence from both sides is a major failure of Dems and the news media.

If you fall asleep on the couch, you fall asleep in real life.

More lies and propaganda shadow sponsored by Big Sleep™️😤

That moment when you go to take a pic of the moon and the clouds roll in, so you decide to shoot a spooky vid instead

Basically, when a larger account follows you but doesn't react to anything you post, it means they're afraid of your power.