Профиль

The most Canadian skin product has gotta be Retin-A.

What if - and I’m spitballing here - we put small wads of paper in our mouths to form tiny projectiles?

I played electric zither for Diarrhea Lettuce on their 87 college tour.

I'm going to defeat the diarrhea lettuce in the marketplace of ideas

YOLO at a time

I’m gonna go ahead and assume if you use the term YOLO, you’re not Buddhist.

A snap election, a snap election, my kingdom for a snap election!

speed dating but where you answer every question with quotes from glengarry glen ross

how many fuck arounds does it take to find out

Good moats make good neighbours.

my friend group is all “our 40s and 50s are the new 20s and 30s” and i’m like what are you talking about all of our joints crackle like breakfast cereal and none of us can see

Can't, my dog just laid on my lap.

The American Dream, 2026 edition (Seen near Fenway Park, Boston USA. As a way to get the most of one’s usurious parking costs, I salute you!)

Wait sorry she said we should hold Hans, so I’m booking tickets to Berlin.

My wife said we should hold hands more so I joined a poker club.

*trips the light fantastic* *the light falls and breaks a femur* *the light sues the shit out of me*

If you guys were any funnier, well that'd be great

I still remember how great water out of a squirt gun tasted. That hint of polyethylene.

Remember when certain album covers were iconic? Even if you were a kid and didn't know anything about the band or their work, you saw the cover art in poster form in the record stores. All gone now.

Kid was on his dirt bike popping a wheelie alllll the way down State Road and I was like fuck yeah we need this kind of energy right now even if I don’t know what kind of energy that is