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LEAVE THE MOON ALONE GET A JOB

the grandmother on the bus

[Strider] I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn. [Me] ah, welcome, friend Aragorn. That reminds me, would anyone else like to tell us their dad's names?

[Cop, shining a light in my eyes, and then the passenger seat] you been reading any tomes tonight? [Me] no officer. [Cop] I pop the trunk I'm not going to find any scrolls? [Me] listen this is actually my buddy's car

[Getting extremely mad] no bro I am not Ernie, YOU are Ernie and I am Bert.

Ma'am, didn't mean to snoop, but that song you were singing... well, uh, I was just wondering... ah shit uh [tearing up, swallowing hard] does he make it? The itsty bitsy spider?

Time for my dreams to turn my fears into weird little plays

Post a perfect song from the 90s recounting the history of the Three Stooges that isn’t Two Reelers by Frank Black

lmao

Kool-Aid Man bursting through wall: where's the goddamn amontillado, Montresor

lmao

The public health establishment has always encouraged people to eat healthful foods, avoid heavily processed foods, and get lots of exercise. It has consistently warned of environmental toxins and other health hazards. MAHA is contributing nothing new.

Instead, MAHA is demolishing the public health system and the scientific infrastructure that supports it. MAHA is sowing distrust of proven health programs and medical treatments. The only thing we can learn from MAHA is to never again let ignorant cranks seize control of our nation's health system.

@mdwallach.bsky.social yikes

Centrists always present these takes as savvy "harsh truths" for the left, but they're the most pathetic kind of ignorant, cowardly self-soothing. www.theatlantic.com/ideas/2026/0...

The argument is always the same: Rather than judge MAHA supporters on what they do, we should judge them on what they say. This is dangerously uninformed about how conspiracy movements work.

As the piece admits, the second MAHA took power it started gutting basic science, promoting quack treatments and loosening health regulations. *This* is what the movement is. Yet it's up to critics not to conclude or predict anything from these actions and bend over backward to find common cause.

They should invent a rabbit that doesn't appear to you in your dreams the following night with a terrifying prophecy from the chaos dimension

Why is it an insult to call some place a “one-horse town?” They’re doing okay. They’ve got a horse

To get casual fans caught up, the new Avengers movie should start with all the characters doing a rap where they say who they are and what their deal is