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Girls don't like boys girls like drugs and French fries

the little moans coming from inside the trojan horse are from me bc i’m eating baked brie with fig jam

A series of unfortunate events but now it’s your government.

Turned this rant into a blog post. davekarpf.beehiiv.com/p/the-data-c...

My shower is broken so I walked through the car wash naked. That hot wax has really made me shiny and I've got that new car smell

Hilariously we had the wrong night and blue oyster cult is tomorrow but they let us come in tonight too...its Steve Earle lol maybe ill hear godzilla tomorrow

This is the correct answer

Seeing blue oyster cult tonight I hope they play that one song you know the one

babe what do you mean you can’t stand the sound of me incessantly chewing ice?

Spite is as good a reason to stay alive as any

💯

😄

who do we want? the funk soul brother when do we want him? right about now

I hate it when I visit a small, isolated town with a history of occult activity to conduct my historical research but all the townsfolk seem rude and creepy except for one person who's charming and modern and then that person turns out to be the devil.

PLEASE REPOST AND SHARE WIDELY!!! We need your help once again, you magnificent Space Unicorns! Behold the Uncanny Magazine Year 13: The Space Unicorn Believes in YOU! Kickstarter!!! buff.ly/Gab1zWu

What you don't want to JOIN MY QUEST FOR FIRE...we really need it to fight off the dinosaurs

It's a mercifully cool, rainy morning and my kid just put on a YouTube video of every iron maiden song ever LETS GOoooOo

Stop doomscrolling and read about cliff swallows and murder ballads instead 👻

Peeled an orange in bed last night. Left the peels for the aroma. I’ll throw em out when I get up whatever

“Enchanté,” I say, shaking your dog’s paw.