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ME: [leaning back in the front seat] DATE: [feeling around in the dark] ME: sweetie you gotta use the right tool to pop the clitoral hood

heyyy my gf and i read your post and we were wondering why you didn't consider shutting the fuck up

yoooo if you’re sharing images of porn that depicts people presumably under age, I don’t care if it’s AI You’re going to get reported to the law Im so sick of blocking you fucks

Sorry babe, the only thing I'm swallowing right now are these mozzarella sticks.

still no response 🧐 cowards walk amongst us

rinsing your feet with cold water before bed during the summer is very good and everyone should do it

when a massage therapist says “just relax” bitch do you think if I could do that I would be here right now

they really should not give me access to Krazy Glue 🖖

sorry to announce this account is owned by private equity now and the quality of my posts will get even worse

[getting fucked] whatever you do please don’t fuck me in the ass

Licorice mints..cause no one wants to kiss you anyway.

Depression would be so much easier if you could explain it away.

Sometimes, you can talk your way out of a traffic ticket by smiling and saying I'm guilty. I did it and how are you, Officer.

Yeah, I'll have to pass on today.

If you can relate to me..great. If you can't..try harder.

i flew too close to the sun and fucked up my jorts.

Reddit is the place to go, When you wish to meet some flakes of snow. So load some harsh words in your gizzard, That place is just a fucking blizzard.

British people get in trouble and be like “oi I’m in a real gherkin now”

using AI to make pixel art of deepfakes that i use for assets in my indie adult content video games starring your mom that i make with claude code

I’m sorry I got everyone in trouble by being up past bsky bedtime.