Профиль

mixing up a potion that makes everyone stop being a little bitch

thinking about the time my brothers left me on the top shelf of the toilet paper aisle at walmart for a couple of hours

I wish all passive aggressive people a 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺, 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺.

a glory hole but you reach in and pick a toy from the prize chest

if you’re having a bad day at work imagine how an astronaut feels when they drop their phone into the space toilet

Maybe the love of my life just couldn’t open the lid to his coffin

Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.

You taste like beef jerky.

Don’t worry, I’m just admiring the shape of your skull.

A sunset. Cotton candy in the sky

Nice 😂

girl who is just so tired of all this dumb shit

Woke myself up last night from a dream screaming fuck you. Can't wait for tonight's episode.

dude, it’s going to be okay just breathe

I'm not afraid to say it. Candy corn is better than creamed candy corn

A funny thing happened on the way to decorum

Tired of seeing that disgusting flag plastered everywhere? So am I. Get a tshirt

I could tell early on you were sent by angels…everything about you is angelic but at the same time devilish.

Also another coworker got us all shark week pens