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Give him the Andy Rooney segment please please

You simply should not…douthat

As a fellow large forehead-haver, why would he take the job?

It's sad stuff. On one hand we won't have someone on the NYT opinion page to argue that we need to fund Dalek death camps. On the other, it'll be even funnier watching Bari Weiss run CBS straight into the ground at this accelerated pace.

We have the Make It Make Sense podcast at home

I think continuing to work for or taking a new job with CBS News would be worse

“... and I'm Ross Asshat. These stories and more, tonight on 60 Minutes”

All that charisma can’t be contained on the page

IKR? Douthat not only has precisely zero broadcast journalism experience, either reporting or field production, but he's so anti-telegenic I'm convinced he has a cursed portrait in an attic somewhere that is becoming more handsome and charismatic every day.

Oh, don’t underestimate Bari. She can make AWFUL decisions, and they’re still coming!

Are you kidding? This is a total popcorn moment, like a "let's let Garrison Keillor make his own movie" kind of disaster

He's superhumanly unappealing.

People familiar with his camera tests are already calling him “just…so deeply sweaty and unnerving”

To steal an old Friars' Club joke, "Ross Douthat has the face of a star. And that star is Lassie."

To the extent he’s good at anything, he’s good at writing columns that buttress the naturally conservative instincts of wealthy NYT readers. He brings nothing to TV except his own personal humiliation (richly deserved so I don’t feel bad for him)