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Lmao why is he typing this like it’s written in the medieval times!

I still can't believe people like this are real.

After reading those FA DMs, I think this dude is a straight-up entitled, homophobic piece of junk. It also seems like reading a rant from Chris Chan or something. Jfc!

wtffffffff

Wooooow. 🤣🤣🤣

Holy shit

This hurts my brain....

Please respect the Female exclusive power of vore Lucky.

The amount of people seeing this for the first time is hilarious. Also getting reminded of the skyrim guy a bit here lol

I discovered this for the first time today when my wife made a dramatic reading of it in our living room, with voice and knee slapping. This might be the funniest shit of all time.

shit dude i might cease to exists

I remember this one from ages ago. I particularly love (read: laughed hard at) the assertion that they cannot be debated and don't even try.

This is absolutely insane. I'm not even sure what else to say. I can't believe that this is real.

Part 2 and 3 for your enjoyment/suffering if you like

On one hand, this is forcefem. Awesome. On the other hand... It's homophobic... Not awesome... Truly the moral quandary of our time.

oh my christ this sent me back FUCK.

Say what you will about the works of Frank Miller, but he coined the term "delusions of eloquence", and I can hardly think of a better descriptor.

One should clearly not engage in a battle of wits with someone who has clearly defined themselves completely unarmed.

did caliborn homestuck write this

this is so fucking funny

Wow.... you win on the special cookie of the internet

What in the kentucky fried fuck did I just read...

this is such an impressive psychotic episode

this is why I have to be bigender it is the only way I can keep eating people

you just know this mf is an english teacher talking like this

its been so long. if only a relic of a different era anyway, "exceedingly dim-and-tiny" same

There's an entire server I know who not only need to be sent this, but also told 'this is you.'

I kinda forgot about this psycho until now.

Vore is a female exclusive power, huh?

I NEED to know what this person is doing now. There is a sickly curious part of me that needs to know what kind of person it takes to do this xD

If I have learned my lore on this right, this guy is also the OG developer of Skyrim Devourment mod, the one who famously refused to let men in Skyrim do vore and combatively updated his mod fight fan patches that added male vore.

Consider my petition wisely, Lagomorph.

This can’t be real. This had to be a troll. It’s too perfect lmao

Least deranged FurAffinity DM.

...So whos gonna tell them about cock vore lol

that message reads very similarly to Human Pet Guy to me, and i hate that i know his writing style enough to say that.

Lmao

Being reminded of "I am unparalleled in intellect, wisdom, and wit," and remembering that I have got to use that one more lmao

Wasn't this also the guy who made the Skyrim vore mod and got really mad when people edited it to allow male preds?

Take a shot for every humble brag.

Me reading these.

JK Simmons Laughs: You Serious?ALT: JK Simmons Laughs: You Serious?static.klipy.com

oh god I remember when this was happening and the person was posting these play by play on birdsite

I personally love how this is: 1) about your fucking FURSONA 2) not a request but a DEMAND. "IMMEDIATELY"

I'm... listen, I am generally all about femme-centered macro content, but "vore is a female-exclusive power" does not remotely line up with my experiences with the vore community.

Jesus christ this is unhinged and somewhat hilarious

Bros so mad that they were wacking to a dude and not a lass

This is like several punches to the face from a guy you cant take seriously, wth did i read lmao

Dawg did fucking Cybersmith write this??

Tick-tock!

They were definitely joking right

OHMYGOD THIS ONE LMAO

idk why but "consider my petition wisely, lagomorph" is fuckin sending me lmao outstanding maneuver

Jfc lmao

"I'll forcefem a thousand OCs before I let a man eat me!"

Oh yes, bow before my female exclusive vore power

Did berdly write this?

A HOMOPHILE, thats the craziest statement i have seen in my life ngl

This almost reads like a parody, but I sadly can't be 100% sure.

Literally me reading ts

There's a lot to unpack here, but for some reason my brain latches onto how they're using "oneristic" when I'm pretty sure they mean "onanistic"

I mean, my sona is both, but that might give them a brain freeze. X3

Oh, the memories...

"I have not been mind-changed on a point once" is the sort of shit I could not make up in a million years. "I'm incapable of learning via the scientific method and I'm proud of it???" absolutely unhinged.

big "raymond is my comfort character" energy

YES!! I have been looking for these, since the only other copies have been on Xitter and I removed my account for a reason. These always give me a good laugh

"I, one of your loyalest fans, am here to tell you everything you're doing is wrong & you should change it immediately or face the wrath of DEBATE! (unlike all your other "loyal" fans, who MUST be commie infiltrators!)" Truly showing just how loyal they are, right there.

Bun...

This is my first exposure to this and HOLY SHIT

“Homophile”? Just say gay, jeez!

Skyrim Devourment mod dev be like:

I think its funny that this person, who obviously thinks of themselves extremely narcissistically, didn't even consider setting up a pfp. 🧍‍♂️

Tick tock??? Really thought he was him...

"You do not want to debate me" Correct! G'bye!

the power of the pussy i still have allows me to eat people, its true

I remember this one. Their rather unhinged use of the word "homophile" made me wonder if they were a time traveler from the 1950s.

Legendary

It's only vore if a lady does it. Otherwise it's just sparkling sapient swallowing.

I dunno why but I totally lost it at "Witness my account" and read the rest in a very dramatic preacher voice.

homophile in bio

Ahhhh memories

The phrase "consider my petition wisely, lagomorph" occupies a special place in my mind

Shakespeare in the park? Doth thou mother know, you embarass thy self? Seriously, what an actual douche. All this over porn and someone's preference. If anything I'd feel ashamed of my ancestors and myself for being so close minded.

This reads like a letter to the editor that was typed up while wearing a suit as they sat in a gaming chair.

So. Fed from the 1950's gets blasted into the future by a nuclear bomb test. In trying to find a way home, he is directed to the internet, but gets completely distracted by his newly-found kinks, and has put his time-machine research on hold to debate with artists.

This dude writes like he got transported from the 1600s and became a reddit mod on a vore sub.

I think it's not, but this is incredibly human-pet-guy-coded

Ah, a blast from the last. I do hope the blast was this person stepping on a landmine

I just recited this to my therapist (as Stephanie Sterling did some time ago.) ...Am I a bad person?

...I... Okay, look. I want to say this -has- to be a joke, but considering how up their own asses a lot of these chodes are; it isn't, I presume.