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Shaman Named Dwayne

So there I was: minding my own business, dressed in my army uniform, about to dive into my usual “strawberries in a crockpot” meal when the damnedest thing happened

Stop saying "log into a portal." Sounds way too cool for what's happening.

meeting someone new

Rob Thomas was a soothsayer

If I won the lottery I would hire an interior designer and just say “Columbo murderer” while waving my hand around my home office.

just became aware of William Howard Taft’s 1908 campaign poster

what

I'm telling my kids this is how the dinosaurs went extinct

🏆

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