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You can do anything! . . . . If you try extremely hard and be frustrated and grumbling the whole time

Ma'am, didn't mean to snoop, but that song you were singing... well, uh, I was just wondering... ah shit uh [tearing up, swallowing hard] does he make it? The itsty bitsy spider?

Bonked my head on a tree limb earlier and felt a connection to thousands of generations of ancestors. Probably the most classic hominid mishap of all time

Mage Bully (zapping you): Why are you zapping yourself?

Preparing

everyone is so icked out by mercenaries until they need people with no allegiances to pay for unsavory deeds 💅

Disappearing mysteriously into the fog but then the fog blows away and you see me crouching weirdly behind a dumpster

(Helping a raccoon with an ice cream bucket on its head get unstuck from a fence) I've been there buddy, hang on

the indomitable human spirit is right behind me isn't it

Such a fucking power move

⚠️🚨📸🚧 illegal upright nuthatches 🚧📸🚨⚠️

Common Yellowthroat #birds

just got cut in half by a paper tiger

the simpsins

Saturday is all about drinking your little coffee and playing it by ear

Friend: I'm going to base jump off a cliff and do a bunch of front flips Me: Account for the Magnus Effect

unknown album by unknown artist is definitely in my top ten

(Looking at the Adoring Fan through my sniper scope and talking to him on his earpiece) Say "by Azura" three times to positive ID the Grand Champion. Hey- I need you to focus