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Noel is achieving his final form: fumbling the act of fumbling itself, which loops around to doing okay on a date

The bee that makes you big and round

Great point Matthew

[guy who reportedly makes seven figures arguing for centrist positions]:

retail workers dont say thank you anymore they just hit you with this

good good, i'm glad i was able to help you with that

is the slowcooker still workin' out?

I worked at Disney a while ago. Do you know why theme parks are so safe? Because OOSHA reps can walk the track on any ride at any time and any safety violation they see is a $10,000 fine. Each. Theme parks are not safe because the company cares. They're safe because it's cheaper to comply.

did you enjoy my posts today? or any other day? help pay for my physical therapy here:

not enough people spoke up about it when it was college kids protesting and now every politician is way too comfortable with this

this should be the deal whenever they want a stadium funded

there's always one person there who is a secret spaceman but they're doin a pretty good job

this is why they made up chocobos, i think

their solution to groceries being too expensive is trying to make all the food get recalled instead, somehow

frieza being tied to a tree and forced to watch a bunch of little dipshits frolic and get along is a pretty funny bit, gotta hand that one to 'em

you gotta look into the Platinum Empyrion/Reanimate interaction sometime, i never see other people run it despite how funny it is to crack a 8/8 into play with no drawback

That's why Hellish Rebuke gives the ability to the permanents themselves, so you can still be guaranteed one last "See you in hell" on the way out :P

one wonders if they did it on purpose

double-fisting meeting prep and existential dread re: circumstances outside of my control