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Can't get a post into orbit, and now I know how Elon Musk feels.

You might have all the good looks and popularity, but yeah no just forget it.

At least bots have a purpose.

Tired of trying to figure out what makes you tick. Bring on the explosion.

Strange we die these little deaths, yet return again and again.

Tied or dye.

I get it. You're good at replying

Just so.

Look, I don't know… just wing it.

Every time you speak, the elephant in the room does jerk-off motions behind your back.

Instead of a happy ending, the masseuse gave me an indie movie ending. She stopped suddenly at a random point and left everything unresolved.

Flex your brain.

As I was explaining to my grandpa how likes and reposts work he started writing me out of his will

Hope this email finds you gruntled.

I feel like the song “let’s get it on” may be about sex

"I could be wrong," I lied.

When does the boss creature actually show up? I'm ready to advance to the next level.

Don’t forget to set a baseline before you fire up that experiment

A light beam’s journey seed to tree is a wish fulfilled and free.