Профиль

tequila shot with a large cobb salad chaser

good question! i’ve got a few off of the top of my head: the shining, altered states, & pet semetary. although i’ve seen the shining multiple times - i have to strategically close my eyes on a few occasions

imagining a guy making a turd so long that the tip starts poking up out of the toilet in the next stall

the ointmentor

got the idea for & have started workshopping a new one-woman show: ethel merman sings ok computer

thank you! ❤️

it’s 5 feet

Guy who has confused balaclava with baklava and applies buttery layers of filo dough around his head before doing crimes. It works. It’s another way to do it

i agree :)

it’s just my perspective

nah, you’ll get the hang of it

inside your butt is a second, smaller butt

Marilyn manson had his ribs removed so he could suck his own ribs

Texting the craigslist guy I sold a guitar to and asking if he’ll send me a video of him playing

saying goodbye to my big ol schnoz this wednesday (having ffs!) - we had a good run buddy, but it’s time to move on ❤️

c’mon, there’s plenty of diarrhea for everyone

that’s what i was thinking

don't have to reinvent the wheel

when it comes to bathroom-style graffiti it doesn't get much better than 'fuck you' - just an absolute classic