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*pants-out spin*

I have been eliminated from the knockout stage of the World Cup of Emailng

Vuori saleslady: Anything in particular you’re shopping for? Me: Do you have clothes that can survive transit through a portal?

MLS vs Mexican league tournament starts August 4th. I think some games are on Fox and Univision

Juneauper! cute

what's your gin of choice for a G&T? Garnish?

from:redwallfeasts.bsky.social dirty soda

If you’re at a wedding and need to make a toast: “To your many personable and noble intimacies” TYMPANI

Jelly Leg Pedaler

A Good Friend will bail you out of jail But your Best Friend Doctor will be sitting next to you saying "I am going to spend my life practicing medicine within this jail"

I get to yell “hey”, someone can wield the vibraslap

Hey everyone, let’s strive to make music for sprockets of any moistness

(into drive thru speaker): I said a HANK of MUTTON

The grocery store has a new aisle rated Black Diamond

Lately, I’ve been enjoying an Irish accented “column” that has between 2.5-3 syllables

Not on principal no

We’re up in VIP kicking open treasure chests

They’re hiring a janitor to take the Garbage Inn garbage out

Healitup, healitup