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The colonizer dilemma: That awkward moment when you really want to steal the unearned World Cup trophy, but the entire Spanish armada would descend on you

Lindsay Graham tributes continue to pour in: “I never thought any SOB would love bombing brown people as much as me.” -Henry Kissinger

Lindsay is gonna be so put out when Mitch has to explain that he can’t get a stiff drink where they are

Nudge aside Poor Richard, we got a potential new favorite lightning bolt favorite in national history

America’s 250th celebrations marked by severe weather, political divisionIn the nation’s sweltering capital, white supremacists and liberal activists marched, each demanding their country back. Officials ordered thousands of people to evacuate the National Mall after a sev...www.washingtonpost.com

Across America today, people are hopefully searching, “Is it bad for 80-year-olds with heart conditions to be outside in 100+ degree, brutally humid weather??” As the Founders intended. Keeping the champagne chilled

For no reason, tonight I wonder if blood clots are Knicks fans? Also tonight, I discovered there is no cute, little, greatly anticipated and hoped for blood clot emoji 😢 Anyway, go Knicks! Fight through the walking pile of shit!

I have no idea how many boxes would be needed to hold all the Epstein files, but I bet they’d look cool all stacked up after they are released

You move through your kitchen like a panther until you hit that patch of grease spatter you made then forgot about while making this evening’s meal, then your brain’s rapid response team is suddenly figuring out how quickly and embarrassingly you’re about to get injured/die

Whatever you think of Graham Platner, Mills dropping out of the race because she can’t raise money is a direct indictment of Chuck Schumer and his weakness as Senate minority leader and his absolute and continuing embrace of Israel

Maine Gov. Janet Mills drops US Senate bid ahead of June 9 Democratic primary against Graham PlatnerMaine Gov. Janet Mills is dropping her Democratic bid for the U.S. Senate. The two-term governor and longtime Maine politician was seen as one of Democrats’ top 2026 recruits when she entered the Sena...apnews.com

No matter what we talk about in the next several days, this manifesto doesn’t sound like a crazy person. It sounds like it was written by a concerned person, even an actual Christian person. 1/

Read the full manifesto by shooter at White House Correspondence DinnerRead the full anti-Trump manifesto written by Cole Allen, before taking shots at targeted Trump officials at the White House Correspondence Dinner.katu.com

Trump bravely returns to the stage after the festivities at WHCD to deliver a poignant, powerful, and strangely coherent speech. He somehow also sounded like James Earl Jones announcing CNN

Pretty sure this “assassination” attempt was a plot line from Capitol. Someone watched CBS 2:30 PM M-F 1982-87 leading into Guiding Light, and it shows

People keep saying that “one civilization ended, just not the one Trump thought.” Persia has persisted in one form or another for thousands of years. We may not cross the 250 year threshold in the next few months. At best we’ve had a civilizationship