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*checking box to be an organ donor Me: yes pls make sure a nice person gets my vagina DMV clerk:

😏😭😭

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We’re also funding death squads but what’s really offensive is that somewhere out there a poor person might be able to eat

I’m at the age where if I sit a certain way for more than 5 minutes my entire lower body will fall asleep just to feel something

It’s not that the tech is beyond human intelligence or control, it’s that the tech itself results in a majority of humans getting stupider, and anyone who manages to preserve their intelligence will start going insane from the stupidity, and that’s how we reach singularity

The calming effects of natural green...

You like an angel… an angel of death that is ☠️

✨✨WHEEZING✨✨

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Lettuce prey 🕯️🕯️🕯️✨

Every time Dookiepalooza adds another concert date I think about all the cuts to the FDA

It is the weirdest thing in the world for the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet to be upset that Christopher Nolan used colloquial modern English to retell a 3,200 year old fairy tale instead of having his actors speak Archaic Greek so the same illiterate morons slow read through an action movie

I just saw a fox news segment citing the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet who are asking for billions of dollars to buy directed energy weapons to fire at UAPs. We cannot win a war with algae but we're going to shoot at intelligent sentient beings capable of interstellar travel lmao

America in 2025: MOAR DODGE CUTS America in 2026: you know the dookie lettuce really pairs well with my liver and screwworm casserole You fucking idiots

Dear Congress, If you can give a drunk and a pedophile 1.19 Trillion dollars for performative testosterone supplements you can give Americans Universal Healthcare and feed hungry kids lunches. ✨Thanks 🫶 ✨

Reply guy > comply guy