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Join us tonight as we celebrate our new franchise home run leader, Salvador Perez! Be seated by 6:15 for a special pregame celebration; grab tickets for as low as $13 with code SALVY318! royals.com/salvy

I'm crying the president of the Corruption Federation promised you non-written-down money

If I see one more motherfuckin slide or website where everything is numbered 01 02 03 because Claude’s AI insists on numbering single-digit integers with a leading zero…

a republican told me trump keeps firing the women members of the admin so I asked how many women the admin has and he said they just go to fox and get a new drunk one every time so I said it sounds like he's just feeding airheads to misogynists and then riley gaines started crying.

My three-year-old was watching CNN when he turned to me gravely and asked “Daddy, why is the nice orange man firing the nice wine lady?” And when I told him “Because she became too woke to protect the reflecting pools,” he started crying.

do you ever feel like every pizza place you've ever loved has left you?

Historian of abolition here 💯Garrison always called it the slaveholders rebellion, that’s the correct term. www.nytimes.com/2026/08/02/o...

Opinion | The ‘Civil War’ Is a Lie. Let’s Call It the ‘Slaveholders’ Rebellion’ Again. (Gift Article)To face our own history, we must be honest about it.www.nytimes.com

Well known for this and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE ESPECIALLY NOT ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED WHILE FILMING ONE OF THE MOVIES HERE

RIDICULOUS. This is often how he lies down when he’s not planning to sleep.

the most annoying thing about the What We Should Have Done With COVID discourse is that the actual viable option to accept more health risk in exchange for less disruption was not to rawdog the plague, it was to push the vaccine wide earlier with worse trial data

I mean, it indicates that Pookie feels safe and secure with us, so that’s nice? But yeah, he’s ridiculous.

“The Court finds in favor of the defendant and further affirms that plaintiff is in fact a, I want to get this correct, ‘Fraggle Rock faced douche-canoe fucknoodle’ who ‘could not poor piss out a boot if the directions were on the heel’. So ordered.”

Using lists of three is not an "AI tell." It's a common trait in human writing because our brains biologically want to make sure there's always one thing to marry, one thing to fuck, and one thing to murder.

Yes, we have a gong. Of *course* we have a gong. Why don’t you have a gong?

Kelly & Ash are dear friends, & have had my back every time I've needed. Reply w a screenshot proving you helped & I'll draw you a thing? Complexity & polish will scale with your contribution - a variety of examples below! (Apologies, insufficient spoons to write this many image descriptions)

Want to help us out and also get some art out of the deal? Check this out!

Oh yeah, it's about a 900 page textbook Geiiga learned from in fundamentalist Christian school about how everything but their specific flavor of Christianity is evil. We got through the cover and the introduction and somehow I still went on a rant at one point about how the Golden Snitch is stupid.

I’m glad they’re doing this takedown of the atrocious “textbook” Ash had to read at Camp Prayerville. I read it and just get angry on his behalf that his parents spent all that money on such a terrible education.

Good(?) news, I just recorded a podcast with @ashmcgonigal.com. So if you've ever wanted to listen to us replying nonsense to each other's Bluesky posts but longer and audio your time will come.

Every time democrats say “we’re tough on border security” all anyone hears is “ICE but with a nice bow around the fascism.”