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This is the kind of villain Batman has to face during a writers strike.

WE SHOULD BE SO LUCKY

important update

What's happening, why you think you feel this way about it, and so what? By Ezra Klein

Every tweet is an unforced shareholders earnings call when you're a former trillionaire.

They would like you to believe in the existence of a supreme being but not wind, in which form the supreme being manifests in an ancient book Trump sells for $60 to people who believe he's read it so they don't have to.

Rand Paul attributes 35 million deaths in 14th-century Europe to Anthony Fauci.

Whatever you do, don't make it weird.

You know the ancient Greek gods aren't real, because they would have definitely noticed this guy's hubris by now and turned him into a stag for someone's hounds to devour.

Elon's fondness for the Odyssey makes a lot of sense when you understand the epic calls the protagonist a pathological liar in the FIRST LINE.

20 years teaching the Odyssey to college freshmen who didn't do the reading have emotionally prepared me for Twitter this week.

"Elon Musk vows to make 'historically accurate,' AI-created 'Odyssey' film by year's end." So he'll be using the tenth-century CE Codex Marcianus Graecus 822 (née 454) manuscript in Venice with the 2nd-century BCE Aristarchus scholia notes on the 6th-century BCE Peisistratean recension? Dope.

Sorry, I'm too old to learn the rules of soccer when I could be day drinking.

China interfered with the 2004 Emmys award selection for best reality show. By a LOT.

WE WILL STOP BEATLEMANIA

Consider Trump's attempt to dismantle the International Criminal Court alongside his recurring threats of war crimes and you have a not-coincidence.

Shit is getting weird, y'all.