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The year is 2040 The government has criminalized not having diarrhea Secret police hunt down offenders called “Drywalkers” But one elite officer in their ranks has a secret of his own. Captain Jaxon Cole is lettuce immune

"It's weird how nobody can read anymore!" It's the fascism. "Gosh, you notice how nobody seems to engage with" It's fascism. "The focus on aesthetics instead of content is" Fascism. "Why do people think the past was better than" FASCISM.

The cultural shift in western media to only cover what things *look like* instead of what things *are* is a direct result of the passionate desire among uneducated, scared people to have an authoritarian tell them how to be. The result is authoritarianism. Wow. Big shocker.

I am going to use this in a meeting tomorrow. I have not looked it up and desperately hopeful it isn't slang for something unseemly

This is a case for the FBI. The Federal Brea - ow quit hitting me

FML

How long do we give it before these are used exclusively on protesters

Ok how long did you leave these potatoes in a cupboard that they sprouted legs

Starting to think that letting the people who see greed as a virtue run everything was a bad idea

I woke up the baby snort-laughing at this, thanks

No

No jury of parents would convict you

*furiously takes notes*

Product name: "Sky Raisins"

What the hell are you doing on Bluesky? Get off! Get off NOW

Just needs "Muckiness" rating, and it is perfect

I would watch a Shrek YouTube channel where all he does is reviews of marshes and swamps

Today I got to take my 1.5 year old to see big fish at an aquarium for the first time and her reaction has made this day a top contender for best day of my life