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I put absolutely no effort into acquiring followers here and I'm still north of 700 (I refuse to guess at what any of them want from me). 1,000 followers sounds a lot like trying for a little bit and promptly becoming tired of being a dancing monkey for free.

(It is also entirely plausible that I'm remembering my mom's numbers, which are of course off of mine by one. We are not in the branch of the family which cares enough about the famous cousins/DAR requirements to keep that kind of thing straight in our heads independent of our notes/database.)

I meant the numbers - can't remember how many times removed the two of them are, just that one of the two is 8. Depending on which it is, the other one is either 7 or 9. I'm thinking 7/8 is more likely, making JQA 7 times, but I'm not in the mood to actually look it up on Ancestry.

(Mom's plan, which survived until she got to law school in her fifties, was to say "if you get arrested I'm not bailing you out" a lot. Like a lot a lot. My dad was familiar enough with LAPD to not have any plans resembling "state-imposed misery/violence", but I don't think anything replaced that.)

The kid clearly loves football and wrestling, and I'm sure they have posters in the locker room about both the state's academic requirements and the NCAA's rules. But if I'd had half a mind to getting in trouble as a teen, my parents would *not* have known what to do. His dad totally does.

Found out today that my sister's stepson has *two* reasons to keep his GPA within "allowed to graduate" range: athletic eligibility and "also* the fact that his dad is still not over how much he screwed around and almost didn't graduate high school. Nothing quite like a former stoner gone straight.

I'm fairly alarmed by the entire arm situation. Are these people biologically related to Gumby, except having extraneous (floating??) appendages in addition to their extraordinarily bendy/stretchy but otherwise mostly normal appendages?

(It's trivial to find famous late 18th century cousin links once you have one of the early survivors confirmed anywhere in your ancestors' family, because they're all documented to heck and back again, thank you DAR maniacs and petty Boston/DC socialites writ large. You'd think it was worth money!)

I wish! I'm connected to John Adams (7th cousin eight times removed, I think it was, though that might be JQA) and have received no benefits at all from it. (Having multiple Mayflower ancestors who had multiple descendants survive into the 19th century *almost* guarantees a cousin signed.)

Seems a bit more "actually caring about anything at all anymore" than I'd expect from Graham, however. Maybe he just hadn't reviewed his funeral wishes in a long while - it's usually a serious illness/injury or a close personal loss that makes people remember to do that.

Or, alternatively, this was Graham's idea, in which case, torturing everyone who actually shows up and at least pretends to respect you (when you will obviously not suffer any consequences yourself) is... kinda on-brand for MAGA?

Asking this specific man to do a eulogy in the year of our Lord two thousand twenty-six seems objectively insane. Maybe it wasn't in 1992, I don't know for sure, but now?! It's like whoever decided to invite him hasn't had to actually sit through one of his speeches in half a decade or more.

She's mad at Mamdani mostly because nobody understands causality or logic anymore. The framing is "weeks before this random shooting, Mamdani treated some inmates like they're human beings for a few hours; this is outrageous because crime still happens in a city with millions of residents."

She gave the victim her daughter's old bike the day before he died. He was hit by a stray bullet from some altercation none of these people were involved in. The father of the victim being a retired cop isn't connected to anything except that he used to work in this precinct.

It's as if they're getting paid by the word ala Dickens. Which, if you're paying by token, is basically what's happening. Also, to actually answer: the retired cop has a son, age 12, who just died. The woman has four children, one of whom is also 12 and was a friend of the boy.

Which TBH is great if you have to, say, summarize a gazillion different substantively identical product description components differently (e.g., come up with ten unique ways to say "users think [X] is a great value for the price"), but becomes tiresome in long prose almost immediately.

They added different adjectives to people all over the article - the same child is at one point referred to "the tragic youngster", and upon reflection the whole thing is suspiciously AI-style gratuitous. Every LLM I've seen has a tendency to add superfluous adjectives/adverbs when provoked.

You'd think those guys would be all over the fact that the NYPD gets more money than ~156 countries' entire military budgets. They're even with #40, Iraq, at $6.4 billion. By population, NYC is roughly equivalent to Togo or Laos, #101/#102 on the population list.

NYPost apparently addicted to dramatic adjectives - they unironically call the victim "the tragic youngster" about three quarters of the way through the articles. They used to try to make you go "oh my gosh, this story is tragic" by yourself instead of being all "FYI, morons, this is T-R-A-G-I-C".

Like, they're going to get divorced and lose the house/kids and not be able to post perfect family photos on Facebook anymore. Possibly up to their eyeballs in debt, or in the process of being prosecuted for a *super* intentional extreme loss-of-status crime (child molestation, embezzlement, etc.)