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*watching a guy use the high tech de-icing tool my department just developed to put a superheated shot right between someone’s eyes at 300m* ok well that DEFINITELY voided the warranty

my personal favorite is in one of the raids, the text “Kalli conceives an ontological weapon” appears on your HUD to indicate a wipe mechanic and a mover and shaker in the raid guide community is on record saying “Kalli conceives an octagonal weapon” for his entire explination of the encounter

in destiny 2 there’s a piece of armor called the cuirass of the falling star and it’s just one in a long line of words the bungie devs deployed in order to make the game’s content creator population sound as stupid as possible

and their step-sibling, Keep Text Only

wait WHAT

they always follow the most evil guy around though! could you handle knowing that about yourself?

Now it’s the 637 of Clubs’s time to shine…

i scrolled through my media tab ;) (there were only a few possibilities since My Engagement Numbers Are Fucked--this one, one of me pretending to be count orlok, and one where it's implied i used to have a sexual relationship with salacious b. crumb)

if you’re not either of those guys though i don’t know what to tell you aside from “you are in grave danger here”

getting the midazolam before your nerve block??? no better feeling in the world brother

i’ve seen joe dirt more times than any other movie purely because i’ve watched it piecemeal on comedy central every day around 3pm after school from the years 2006 to 2009

ohh he creepin’

they call her that because when you watch her in a film she puts you “in de” navarette

synth seller…i am going into intercourse and i need your wettest synths

Let there be a thousand chip clips bloom, as far as I’m concerned

we all got that ONE homie who’s always falling down and getting a boo boo 😂

when i give my dog a puzzle treat sometimes i’ll come home from work and he’s waited all day to eat it; like buddy that was meant to occupy you while i was out…

the only two industries are gambling and fraud—comics has the distinction of having been both at various points

they let linda cardellini play her in the movie…they knew what they were doing…

my dad is a doc and told me there’s not much to do besides wait it out which is obviously annoying but will probably spare you like six months of follow up and an MRI or CT scan; it might be worthwhile to invest in a foam pad you can lay down but it’s obviously annoying! glad you’re biking though