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If you eat too much charcuterie, olives and French cheese you can get Deli Belly.

"12 points." thought Ike to himself.

'Directions to Leicester Square now available in pill form.'

What if Paredes punches Trump?

Ramos there, who near hobbled Salah in the Champions League final not so long ago.

Referee looks like Judge Dredd.

I think there are other managers who could have won us the finals. Unfortunately they would have lost all the group matches first.

François Mitterrand! Jacques Tati! Monsieur Mangetout! Jean Paul Gaultier! Le Petomane! Your boys took a hell of a beating!

4-3 is an absurd score for a 'bronze' match. Anything further would be even absurder.

I know what the problem is for the players here: insufficient Hydration.

When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. Positively thinking, there's still plenty of world available so there's no reason for England to cry.

Probably a bit too excited by the football, I bought the Lynx Number 10 deodorant - maybe it's a 'signature perfume' issue combined with the heatwave, but I keep getting a waft of Cheap Sausages.

Yes, lovely fillip that, exactly what I was thinking. #football

We should probably just let them have it, obviously they want it more.

GORDON'S ALIVE!!!

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HYDRATION BREAK

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In keeping with Spanish tradition, after the World Cup final I will be kissing the winning goalscorer Mikel Oyarzabal directly on the lips and most likely giving his bottom a little pinch. What is Espanol for 'Well played Popsy, see you afterwards' anyway?