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Профиль

Optimus Christ

Профиль Vively

Do you think they have those long ass fingers for more efficient scrolling?

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"Women not sleeping with me because I support an authoritarian dictatorship, who wants to take away women's rights, is because of woke and because bitches be crazy." --MAGA, unironically

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You realize there's a non-zero chance that Trump is getting his news from Truth Social and thinks all these conspiracies are real.

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In stunning announcement, Trump reveals that according to FBI analysis, had he not lost the 2020 election, he would have won.

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Highly recommend intermingling cute animals into your feed to help you get through *gestures vaguely at everything*.

Woodland Park Zoo

It's berry season and you have the tiniest friends. These critically endangered babies are Egyptian tortoises that hatched on July 4 and 6, 2026. Currently, our Egyptian tortoises are living behind the scenes in a warm and cozy habitat with lots of attention from their dedicated animal keepers.

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This country is so fucking cooked y'all

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Bitch. Wat.

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Inbred MAGAs on Facebook: WHAT ABOUT IN 1915?! 🧐

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Yeah, I don't think morality is really the problem here deer fucker.

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Mitch McConnell is dead and they replaced him with clones and robots.

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Lindsey Graham has been pronounced sober.

010

With Lindsey Graham dead and Mitch McConnel brain dead, how long until they say Antifa is assassinating people?

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Walking up stairs to do some work. See my phone on the couch, "Eh, I don't need it, it'll just be a distraction." Sit at my desk, go to login somewhere. "We sent a code to your phone." ...

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Art of the Deal. Bomb your enemy. Fuck up the globale economy. Pussy out. Give the enemy 300 billion dollars and declare total victory.

Hoodlum 🇺🇸

Marco Rubio says the goal of the war in Iran is now to return everything “back to the way it was” before Trump started the war. So after all that, the mission is apparently to undo the damage.

010

We are without words. ActBlue spoke with Mitch McConnell for roughly 20 minutes. He can't believe you *STILL* didn't donate. 🇺🇸😭

Chris is not actually a robot

I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell today and he said AHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT FUCK IT'S SO HOT THE FLAMES AHHHHHHHGHGHGGG

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"When are they gonna show this guy's speech already?" -DJT

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Omg Benny Boi is really doing this shit again. And the villain is... anti-genocide college students. I swear to God I am so fucking done with this timeline.

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Alt National Park Service

No, Laura. It’s not “Antifa.” It was Patriot Front, a white nationalist organization. They covered their faces because they’re cowards who don’t want to be identified. We’ve been saying for over a year that ICE officers shouldn’t be allowed to wear masks either. They are cowards also.

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