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On one hand: of course these quotes all come from men because all the women were either not allowed or were too busy doing laundry and dishes On the other hand: dudes rock

I think if I had any parenting advice to give at all it would be: no homes with pools, no Airbnb with pools, no vacation rentals/hotels with access to a pool, nothing. NOTHING. Take your kid TO a community pool, with lifeguards. A beach with life jacket AND lifeguards. That's it.

I want to return to the time when "apps," was just short for "appetizers."

When you find a true kindred spirit out in the wild, when each conversation is just another exploration in shared values, it creates this little explosion of joy and awe that makes life worth living.

Everyone is saying The Mummy (objectively correct) but for me it was Casino Royale.

James Bond: Daniel Craig & Eva GreenAlt: James Bond: Daniel Craig & Eva Green looking fine afstatic.klipy.com

I'm in my fortieth year so just had my boobs squeezed professionally for the first time. Apparently they are super dense and therefore have a higher rate of cancer. Here's your reminder to go get it done! (Also, bring extra deodorant, they make you wipe yours off!)

I just don't understand why buildings have to be freezing cold.

God save me from bored, whiny children.

Johnny Test: Dukey's Urgent PleaAlt: Johnny Test: Dukey's Urgent Plea to DO SOMETHINGstatic.klipy.com

two perfect sentences describing a perfect day 😌

Recording for posterity that today I consumed: three cups of coffee before 9am, half a bottle of Prosecco at noon, grande cold brew at 2pm, a Kir Royale at 7:30pm, and then an affogato and a half cup of coffee at 9pm. Living better at forty than I did at twenty. 🤣

This thread. ⬇️

Woke up, drank three cups of coffee, dropped kids at camp, came home, went straight back to bed.

Gonna go with Keanu Reeves.

I miss not knowing who was in the President's cabinet, because they were all boring competent professionals instead of Fox News hosts and/or stupid simpering sycophants.

This picture is a painting is a poem -

Fun fact: the recessional at our wedding was the Spaceballs theme, complete with laser sounds. 😌

Spaceballs: We Ain't Found Sh*t!ALT: Spaceballs: We Ain't Found Sh*t!static.klipy.com

We should just return the Statue of Liberty to France at this point. We're certainly not using it correctly.

Me, listening to a playlist I curated myself: omg, I love this song!!