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what happened here???

I appreciated a lot of Nolan's epic blockbuster retelling the Cass story from the perspective of Jolyon Maugham of the Good Law Project, and making Rowling a snake woman in the tradition of @midnightpals.bsky.social was a lot of fun, but I can't say I loved the credulous portrayal of Keira Bell.

King: i'm sorry, what? Flanagan: have you considered what if carrie's mom was abusive because she cared too much King: King: sure ok King: why the hell not King: at this point let's do it

King: if only there was a real auteur to save us! Mike Flanagan: i'm still here! King: oh thank god King: so good to know there's still human creativity in the world Flanagan: i'm remaking Carrie where the mom is too nice King:

Mary Shelley: this all is too much Shelley: i'm gonna start stabbing Poe: mary! there's too many of them! Poe: you can't stab them all! Shelley: just fuckin watch me

Aronofsky: also what if thomas paine looked like bill mahar Poe: ugh! disgusting! King: no! Lovecraft: please no Koontz: keep it away! Barker: ha ha this sucks Shelley: i am going to kill you Aronofsky: and Benjamin franklin looked like a syphilis zombie Shelley: ok that's probably accurate tbh

Aronofsky: remember how you hated history class back in school? Aronofsky: well, get ready to hate it all over again! Aronofsky: it's Darren Aronovsky's FOUNDING FATHERS Aronofsky: it's 2 hours of craggy dudes in powdered wigs looking at the camera Barker: ha ha Barker: this sucks man

Aronofsky: you know that patented uncanny lifeless humunculi that mock humanity by their very existence? Aronofsky: my theory is that people want more of that Aronofsky: and they especially want it used to tell didactic slogs about the founding fathers

Aronofsky: you know how it is Aronofsky: you get a new tool you immediately gotta try it out on some founding father shit

Poe: this slop is insufferable! Poe: if only there was an auteur to save us! Darren Aronofsky: did someone call for an auteur Poe: oh thank god! Aronofsky: have you ever thought about the good things about slop Poe: oh my god Poe: they got to you too!

Poe: don't look at it howard! Lovecraft: oh i'm not looking directly at an eldritch abomination Lovecraft: i wasn't born yesterday Lovecraft: i know all about this sort of thing

Poe: don't look at it! London: what if we had a video of a dog with every hair defined in weirdly high detail Koontz: a dog with every hair defined in weirdly high detail?!? Poe: dean, no!

Poe: guys, this is bad! Poe: we're surrounded on all sides by slop! Poe: don't look at it! it'll seduce you with its siren song Giant-breasted anime girl : [string of nonsense glyphs] Edward Lee: bro Poe: i said don't look at it!!! Patricia Highsmith: nice gams on that humunculous

London: as a slop, i unthinkingly spray nonsense everywhere and by random chance sometimes something looks ok Gislason: as a goop, i'm perfectly adapted to my native environment, the 10-foot by 10-foot dungeon corridor

King: yeah i'm sorry i didn't mean Gislason: bloop bloop how dare you Gislason: the slops and the goops are natural and eternal enemies >:C

King: oh my god, all this slop! King: it's like when lor visits Lor Gislason: bloop bloop i'm not a slop Gislason: bloop bloop i'm a goop >:C Gislason: bloop bloop it's totally different >:C

London: don't be a dinosaur! London: you'll be left in the dust! Koontz: but he says i'll be left in the dust! King: don't listen to him dean! King: that's the devil talking!

King: oh my god watch out! King: he's going to slop us! Poe: stay back! Koontz: i'm scared D: King: don't worry dean, it's only slop King: it can't hurt you unless you let it

Mary Shelley: that's it, i'm done Shelley: i'm gonna start stabbing Poe: no! mary, don't! Shelley: oh shit King: huh it looks like you punctured him King: it looks like all his slop is coming out now Shelley: i didn't expect this

King: whoa! get away! Barker: yeah c'mon man Barker: that's not cool London: you will all drink of the slop London: and when the slop flows through your veins London: then you too will know the joy of being one with the slop