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yeah and they’re alive

"uh... Sir. What did Diglett request for his last meal?" "A Passho Berry. Why?" DIGLETT's Passho Berry lessened the damage! DIGLETT used EARTHQUAKE. It's Super-Effective!

Ineffectually pulling the lever for the electric chair over and over again as the state's executioner while Diglett just kinda chills and wonders what I'm doing.

That's what the SWAT teams are for.

Pokémon Generations Episode 2: The ChaseYouTube video by The Official Pokémon YouTube channelwww.youtube.com

The armless long arm of the law:

Got a nice text from my mom this morning, had a productive meeting with the advisor, wrote two pages, had a hot streak in Pokémon, and ordered a pizza to treat myself. Best day in a while tbh.

If you go to jail in the Pokémon world do they release your Pokémon, put them in PC storage, rehabilitate them somehow, or what? Do they get visitation rights? Are you allowed to battle under police supervision at the penitentiary's arena like how they have basketball courts in real prison?

Charmander playthroughs are hardest: Charizard is feted as Game Freak's favored child and beloved by the fandom. Chikorita playthroughs are hardest: Meganium is mocked, maligned, and slandered. #JusticeForChikorita

You can tell the economy is in a rough spot when even starter Pokémon have to work the stripper pole to pay their way through college.

*Ahem* In this essay, I will argue that Totodile, not Chikorita, is the true worst gen 2 starter. While it's true Johto is unkind to grass types, the game gives not one but two strong water types as part of the story. Given the ease of acquiring a strong water type, Feraligatr is basically a scam.

True. I apologize for unfairly maligning crackheads and will do my utmost to respect the rich diversity within the cocaine addict community in the future.

Sounds like the sort of thing that those splitters in the Judean People's Front would bitch about.

It's so morbidly funny that the thing propping up the world economy is that a bunch of crackheads at the stock exchange still haven't figured out you're allowed to fight wars on Mondays.

“The enemy is no threat and frankly, I like them better than you anyway,” is certainly one way to sell a war to the public.

At this point, probably, but -and I'm not endorsing the perspective, I'm just saying this is how it likely looks from their shoes- I suspect high level corporate management concluded from the rate of progress that the options aren't AI slop game or people game but AI slop game or no game.

Honestly starting to wonder if Elder Scrolls 6 actually exists or it's just a bunch of concept art and a fifteen-minute tech demo from 2018 they trot out to investors in private from time to time between poker games.

This is sort of like saying the color "blue" doesn't objectively exist but is instead a socially constructed concept for a specific range in the visible spectrum. It's technically true, but saying blue doesn't exist is still stupid.

pathetic. back in the good old days when you needed satellite imagery to justify a badwrong on flimsy pretexts, you had to make do with what you had. you looked God in the eye at the United Nations and said those aluminum tubes were a threat to world peace.

The disc horse bot reinvents contemplative monasticism from first principles:

Dark is low key the weirdest type in Pokémon because it represents the two basically unrelated concepts of magical night woo and asshole. So dark type moves are basically either "mystical twilight beam" or "kick 'em in the balls."