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my current dream job is slowly walking along a castle's battlements at night, carrying a halberd and with my sword hanging at my hip, occasionally calling out "who goes there?"

i wish somebody loved me as much as my neighbor loves his pickup truck

whole milk is when it comes from both the boobies

biblically accurate bazongas

tomorrow i shall become more forty-something than i have ever been in my life

i bet i could punch a grey alien so hard it dies

i like the episode where Worf finds Kahless and discovers that he is just a man

never forget the bisexual code

hold up my favorite song is on

if I had a time machine I'd go back to the 1970s and write a screenplay about a honky-tonk samurai

now that i drive a subaru crosstrek instead of a rusty old tacoma i feel like I've been officially downgraded from lesbian to bisexual

some crap i saw today

I'm at the enormous Subaru dealership, I've never seen so many Subaru in my life

Life's Beautiful Asses

the next jeopardy host should be huge like jack reacher

ejaculated on in the line of duty

my favorite time to be here

Ape Law

we're getting reports that the jeopardy guy is a dipshit

eating a bunch of books to keep up with ai