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Can we help this suffering family raise money for food and medicine?

awesome!

In other words, for there to be a real moral change in the situation of patriarchal violence, there needs to be real consequences for that violence. There needs to be something protective the victims. We don't currently have such a system! Consequences for patriarchal violence are uncommon!

A great many attempts to make a morality out of gender dynamics will follow this pattern. They're about *what the victim should do,* rather than what the perpetrator should do. Because getting the perpetrator to change already feels like a lost cause.

IMO this is why so many appeals to compassion reinforce care hierarchies—because those making the appeals know they can't discipline the oppressor. Notice how those responsible for this "love ethic" are the women, the ones who can already be disciplined.

A care-ethical understanding of any oppressive violence should be that care needs to go to the victims of that violence, including its subtle and gross forms. Those victims are already in a position where we have to fawn to protect ourselves.

Women are already the subject of extraction in a gendered care hierarchy; that flow of care toward men already happens. I'm not saying men don't deserve care, but lack of caregiving from women isn't the cause of patriarchal violence!

This is the problem with reactionary appeals to compassion—it all depends on the *direction* the care is moving in. This is what I call a care hierarchy, by which those at the bottom of the hierarchy are compelled to give care for those at the tope; care is extracted like a resource.

As someone who could be reasonably called a love ethicist, the use of "love ethic" here makes my eye twitch. It's not describing love for the victims of the problem of male violence, but the perpetrator. That's not a love ethic, but a FAWNING ethic. The difference is really important.

Also! If you to have a look-see at a preview of Mara, we've just posted the prologue and the first three chapters for free up on itch: prismata-press.itch.io/mara

Hey folks! Rent is due again and the lawyers need more money to try to get us back our original money, we live in a society. (lol) (cry) Welcome to ETSY THREAD!!! Everything in the shop is 20% off for the next 48 hours, enjoy the nerdy shopping! thebrokencircle.etsy...

That sounds great

What are butter burgers?! 😮 @vyriadurav.bsky.social

Not as explicit generally as Reddit but still

Tumblr has looped around again to being a pretty good place to ogle dudes

Agreed

Thank you to everyone who has gotten me this far-- for your shares and your donations, thank you. We have a ways to go but we can make it.

Sure!

Can we help a trans teacher who’s trying to leave Texas?

@goddessblade.bsky.social I'm reaching out to see if you would be willing to pass it along? I'm a trans teacher trying to pay for a move to flee Texas and have already burned through my savings and am still very short. If you could reblog this I'd appreciate it immensely! gofund.me/b17d24f56