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Tedious stalemate games of soccer could be prevented if they added the storm from fortnite to slowly shrink the field

intern overheating inside the coils of the emotional support lamia

(lifting my lantern to reveal an enormous puppygirl fossil embedded in the cave wall)

Last catgirl alive on earth uselessly given single mercy of glimpsing final sunset before public execution

these four mutagens will transform your husband’s mealtime

a perfect summer day... dad in the backyard cranking up the (illegally modded) hotdog machine, glock tucked into his waistband. mom in her summer spetsnaz. aerial dispersal statites glinting in the sun, marching their grid to the horizon

BUSHEL, the 7 is silent

brother of Less. one of them tells truth, the other lies, i've never been able to work out which is which because i just kick one of them in the nuts and bust through the door

The problem with iterative personality overwriting isn't the hypnosurgical implantation or even the post-operative conditioning updates. That's mostly a solved science, the methods to map and manipulate the neural pathways and the tools to render down and rebuild a consciousness work fine.

well they got monsters there, apparently. seems bad if you ask me

JOHN HURT: there’s a new kind of hotdog ME: ok, continue JOHN HURT: which kills, irrespective of whether you’re straight or gay ME (whispering): fuck. fuck, it’s one of the bad ones

my lack of notable facial features makes me effectively invisible to babies, an advantage i exploit to its fullest potential

E539.4.1 Ghostly chair in cellar jumps up and down on three legs, points with fourth at spot on floor.

same energy www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cb11...

every few days the thunderstorm symbol appears at the end of the ten day forecast, like a fata morgana, only to disappear the following morning

Me: So, yeah, I'd say the mango basically approaches "favorite fruit" territory for me Guy interviewing me in my imagination: That's incredible. And you say this because you're eating one now? Me: Exactly. I invented you—gave you mind-birth—for that reason. This habit is one of my many perversions

gothic forcefem m'lady? gothic forcefem?

my father died in the traditional fashion: a crystal orb, hurled from a second storey window by a journeyman warlock in a fit of pique, struck him on his head as he passed; and rather than shatter, it enveloped him like a bubble, melting the flesh from his bones before he could even scream