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Oh bless you!

My experience of the posting game: you spend half an hour carefully crafting a joke and it gets two pity likes. Toss out any old crap after four seconds’ thought and it eventually winds up on knowyourmeme. knowyourmeme.com/memes/curtai...

Zero craic. Notions aliens.

Baaaad movie. It's just a chase. Might as well have been about money.

there is a clear hierarchy of objects we will take batteries out of to put in other objects and I suspect objects know their place in it

Prequels everywhere but still no interest in my script I Wonder What You’ll Do Next Summer.

Nobody ever explained to me what a passkey is or how they work. Websites just started asking me for passkeys like it's something we talked about.

whyioughtta

Pretty sure I read somewhere that there are two cuts floating around. I remember braces too.

Hahahaha

Haha, we’re finally getting some backstory on Ebenezer Scrooge, something your girlfriend Dickens singularly FAILED to provide. Hold on, I’m being passed a note.

[I get home to find a note on the refrigerator that says "I'm leaving and i'm taking the kids"] me: [unplugs fridge from power outlet] you're not going anywhere, you piece of shit

Flawless!

Given how often he'll be Photoshopped out, it's weird that it looks like he was Photoshopped IN.

My guess is they were badly stuck at FIFA headquarters, no idea what the half-time vibe should be, and someone rushed in all excited with a tape of the Late Late Toy Show.

Imagine your team was losing six-nil and you had to sit through this shit for half an hour.

The lesson, which I have thoroughly failed to learn, is never put in any effort whatsoever.

Hahaha

Hiberno-English Yoda: 'Ow! My bare toe on the leg of the fucking chair, I’m after hitting.'