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Share this post to announce that you are free from both hell AND marriage!

“It may be hard to tell from where you’re sitting, but trust me, I’m not taking it easy in Dreamland,” said the 80-year-old Donald Trump

Trump Insists Frequent Naps Necessary To Protect U.S. Interests In DreamlandWASHINGTON—Vehemently defending his controversial closed-eye moments, President Donald Trump insisted Monday that his frequent naps were necessary to protect U.S. interests in Dreamland. “It may be ha...theonion.com

You mean like that Jewish carpenter dude and his fishermen peeps?

Folarin Balogun, born in New York to Nigerian parents. People like JD Vance would say he's not *really* American when, in fact, he's the epitome of American. 🇺🇸

“I’ve been using ChatGPT to help with cooking for a while now, so I didn’t think too much of it when the ingredients list included a bottle filled with gasoline and a cloth wick,” said the alleged attacker

Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For RisottoSAN FRANCISCO—Following reports that a 20-year-old man had been arrested for throwing a Moltov cocktail at Sam Altman’s home, the suspect stated Monday that he only initiated the attack because he was...theonion.com

really can't be said enough that this case was decided by the same court that decided plessy v. ferguson. if they could have found a plausible rationale to limit birthright citizenship they would have done it. but there is none! the text is as clear as constitutional language can be.

See you tomorrow! 💚✊

Terrified Conservatives Lose Ability To Speak English After Exposure To Bad Bunny Performance https://theonion.com/terrified-conservatives-lose-ability-to-speak-english-after-exposure-to-bad-bunny-performance-dios-mio-cry-millions-of-panicking-republicans/

Analysis | By calling for the execution of prominent Democrats, President Trump is preserving the legacy of Charlie Kirk.

The Oregon Republican Party tried to help Donald Trump make the case for military intervention in Portland with an image of a fiery protest — but since Portland is calm, they had to fabricate one by merging old photos of police in Ecuador and protesters in Brazil www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

Republicans post fake image of Oregon protest – using photos of South AmericaA federal judge had blocked Trump’s request to deploy California national guard to Portlandwww.theguardian.com

Attn all ICE agents! Here’s an announcement from our front window: Chicago hates you, and you are not welcome here!