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SO DIVORCED HE KNOWS ALL THE CLERKS AT FAMILY COURT BY NAME.

ARE WE… ARE WE JUST NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THOSE SIDEBURNS? DUDE LOOKS LIKE AN EXTRA ON A PORN SET IN 1975.

HIDE IT? WHY DO YOU THINK HE’S RETURNING? “CHRIST IS COMING,” INDEED.

AAAAAND I JUST REALIZED OP IS NOT THE DUMBASS WE’RE ALL LAUGHING AT. SORRY, OP.

SOOOOO, WHY DID YOUR BROTHER HOOK IT UP TO THE INTERNET? I’VE BEEN USING MY PS3 FOR 10+ YEARS, IT HAS BEEN CUT OFF FROM THE NET FOR MOST OF THEM, AND IT WORKS FINE.

WATCHED IT? I PLAYED IT! IN ONE OF THE RARE TIMES I WASN’T GOALIE, A BALL GOT BONKED OFF MY FACE AND WENT INTO THE OPPONENT’S NET. STILL THE BEST SPORTING MEMORY OF MY LIFE.

WE’RE NOT ALL RED. TWO OF OUR LAST THREE GOVERNORS HAVE BEEN DEMOCRATS. AND WE MADE ABORTION RIGHTS A PART OF THE STATE CONSTITUTION A FEW YEARS BACK, BY A TWO TO ONE MARGIN, IN AN ELECTION THAT WAS RATFUCKED A WHOLE LOT MORE THAN THIS CURRENT ONE HAS BEEN RATFUCKED. WE’RE STILL IN THE FIGHT.

GOOD. FUCKERS KNOW THEY’RE ABOUT TO GET BOATRACED ON THE SUPREME COURT BALLOT ISSUE A WEEK FROM NOW, AND THEY’RE PANICKING. I RELISH THEIR FEAR.

I DON’T KNOW IF I’M TOO DRUNK OR THE JUST RIGHT AMOUNT OF DRUNK, BUT THAT MOVIE WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT.

YOU KNOW, I’VE DECIDED I QUITE LIKE CYBERTRUCKS. IT’S NICE TO KNOW AT A GLANCE WHERE THE BIGGEST DIPSHIT IN TOWN IS AT ALL TIMES.

JOHN BROWN WAS ON TO SOMETHING!

KANSAS! FUCK YEAH!

I DON’T HAVE TO IMAGINE A 2 DOOR OUTBACK. MY FIRST CAR THAT RAN WAS A 1980 SUBARU BRAT.

THE JOLLY GREEN GIANT TO STOMP SOME SHIT KOOL-AID MAN SO THE GIANT DOESN’T STOMP ON ANY BROKEN GLASS WENDY TO MAKE SNARKY COMMENTS ABOUT THE GUYS THE GIANT STOMPED THE COLONEL BECAUSE I’M WANTING SOME FRIED CHICKEN.

FUNNY. I HATE JIM CRAMER SO MUCH I WISH HE LIVED IN A DATA CENTER.

SO IF HE WINS, DOES THAT MEAN I HAVE TO FINISH THE ORIGINAL SHENMUE?

I THINK HE HAS, BUT HE’S SUCH A GIANT TURD HE KEEPS TURNING THE GOLD ORANGE.

YOU JUST DO NOT GET IN THE FACE OF A MAN THAT CALLS HIMSELF BUZZ. I DON’T CARE IF HE’S AN ASTRONAUT OR IF HE FLIPS BURGERS. YOU. DO. NOT.

THE SUBTITLES KILLED ME. I AM DEAD.