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yuuuuup

/flash forward to the fourth movie, where Adam is splicing Pop Tarts to a pork chop.

She angrily insisted on being Austria-Hungary. Trenches are being assembled out of couch cushions.

Tired: “trans people are using the wrong bathrooms” Wired: “trans people are out here REAPING SOULS”

That was the one sticker I had to zoom in on, and I was really hoping it wouldn’t disappoint me by being Normal Person Stuff. I… I was not disappointed.

I’m sorry, but it appears you put in for one 400mg pill when two 200mg pills were indicated. Get clickin’

What Is An Avocado? It’s a simple question…

#23 out here for fresh air and exercise

/Tom Petty enters in a full samurai outfit “Actually…”

Drain the swamp

This is a fantastic joke and you should be amazingly proud. Hell, I’m proud FOR you.

You’re gonna want to reconsider that band name.

New-Strength-Coach-Has-‘Em-More-Explosive-Than-Ever Season is a wonderful time of the year.

Simple solution: they get a supplemental sponsorship with X during the last week of November.

Had our pediatrician tell me today about how we can get our on-the-spectrum 6-year-old to eat a wide variety of fruits and vegetables, and I was like “oh awesome did they finally invent carrots that taste like dinosaur nuggets and have no texture?”

We were vetted much more stringently before adopting our hound than we ever were with //waves towards small humans in various stages of growthening//

Booty had me like

Indiana Jones Looks UnsureALT: Indiana Jones Looks Unsurestatic.klipy.com

Also fitting because they keep figuring it out… and the magically forgetting it 10 seconds later.

Jehovah Java? Javahovah? We’ll workshop it.