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I'm pretty sure I first heard about what a food desert is fifteen years ago and I know almost no urban planning, these are not obscure concepts lmao

Had a dream that gay babies were called "gaybies" and they occupied a social/material position similar to holographic baseball cards

Wore a kilt to the pub. Real hit with the men. Their faces are hot with envy. Women mostly groaning at my shit. Welcome to the club, women.

Same vibe

My lies need to get crazier. Maybe I should start telling people I had a great aunt who moved to the Middle East before I was born and now I'm technically Crown Princess of Iraq if the monarchy ever comes back. No one will believe that but belief isn't the point of telling lies this clearly insane

OSAMA BIN LADEN: You can have me call off the planes operation... or you can have what's in the mystery box. GEORGE W. BUSH: The box! The box!

hi. i'm sorry but with all my medical expenses and utilities increase this month i need to ask for help. i'm short on rent and i need to pay on time this month. thank you to everyone for being so generous. this economy and health care system is crushing me. please help if you can ty for reading

We don't thank ghosts enough. They haunt our homes. They taught us the chiropractic. They appear at the edges of our vision when we've been mixing drugs we shouldn't. Ghosts do so much for us

[in my craziest voice] Poltergeists are just ghosts who like performance art. The ghost community does a lot to obscure that but it's really just that simple

We don't thank ghosts enough. They haunt our homes. They taught us the chiropractic. They appear at the edges of our vision when we've been mixing drugs we shouldn't. Ghosts do so much for us

remembering the greatest interview of all time

[smiling beatifically] Dudes Rock

45 year old man with airpods in an aisle over from me on this flight is looking at a tiktok with the caption "top 10 reasons men like vaginas" and carefully studying each line with his finger

It's gonna be really fucked up when all the secret papers leak and it turns out Oswald somehow really did act alone in killing JFK but that in 1993 Delta Force secretly raided Heaven and shot God

[narrator voice] Many now regard the "Ticketmaster" as a folk devil blamed for high event prices rather than as a coherent organization conspiring to rig the market

Guy who keeps trying to patent the sky and doesn't understand the Patent Office's angry letters well enough to stop

White celebrities should start saying "RIP to Monster Kody" during award speeches. As a deeply puzzling bit

but they already made a historically accurate version of the odyssey?