Профиль

Yay!🎉

Why so many folks drowning at your beach, Baywatch? Seems like maybe an unaddressed systemic safety issue.

I was genuinely shocked

Ugh. Im so sorry. I have other chronic issues, but I once passed out on the nyc subway, and when I came to, people had just moved a little farther away. Then I passed out in the subway station getting out to try to get home, and same thing— people were walking around me, just a bit farther away.

omg that’s totally it!

Why so many folks drowning at your beach, Baywatch? Seems like maybe an unaddressed systemic safety issue.

It’s an easy throw together on a weeknight for me and my partner lol

Evaporated 😢

beyond cringeworthy

[to the tune of Oklahoma] 🎶 CYYYYclospora, where the poops come rushing out your butt

The enormity of small words.

It's giving a lot of tech bros eye of Sauron

Ruin a book by adding a word: Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret Thatcher

the husband suggested I chill out on watching Giallo movies because I’ve been acting a little dramatic, so I calmly removed my black leather gloves before chucking a skillet through the garden window and slashing at him with a pearl-handled straight razor.

Groceries Paradox: the refrigerator and pantry are full of items I don’t want to eat — but I’m the one who did the shopping

[greeting people in the afterlife with an Emotional Participation Ribbon™️ and a high-five]

Do you know there are 25 ppl on AL Death Row sentenced to die when their juries ruled otherwise? Pls take a look, this website shows how easily you can get involved in correcting this unconstitutional injustice, which will, in turn save lives! 🧵

I believe it is

The best film adaptation of the Odyssey, wrong answers only

yes!