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For those just joining, I've been on quite the adventure this last year or two. For my 45th birthday, which just so happened to coincide with Easter, I traveled back to the town I grew up in to visit with old friends, and there I discovered the nature of the disease that had plagued me for decades.

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1 прямых ответов · 10 сообщений

I received my health, and delivery from endless pain and disfigurement, which I had hidden from the world. I am impossibly blessed, and I forget this at my peril.

Ответ для Fidel Destro

I spent months simply celebrating. Grilling meat every chance i got, sipping wine and enjoying the newfound freedom I had been given. I walked and walked, reveling in the stamina, dumbfounded at how quickly my wounds now healed. But I had abandoned my art and my work.

Ответ для Fidel Destro

As the fall approached, I had been diving deeper and deeper into mathematics and physics, chasing questions and ideas, and eventually, I became quite fascinated with the problem of simulating gravity, until it swallowed me whole. I was chasing leads after something impossible.

Ответ для Fidel Destro

It was as if the world shrank away, and all that was left was this puzzle begging me to solve it. I walked dozens and dozens of miles each day, in circles around my neighborhood while shapes and structures and possible answers raced through my tired brain.

Ответ для Fidel Destro

I was emaciated, having trouble finding suitable foods that didn't trigger reactions. I was living on pot and coffee and the need to build my algorithm. ....but when you're trying to solve the nature of gravity, you are in fact trying to solve the nature of reality.

Ответ для Fidel Destro

I have always been troubled by oblivion, and now in this weakened and obsessed state, I found myself face to face with it, and I started to experience revelations. I saw everything around me as the unfolding of a single divine pattern, into which I had been ignorantly born.

Ответ для Fidel Destro

And it was there, in the dead of night, confronted by infinity, looking into a black hole which refracted on its surface the multitude of stars... that I realized I was looking into a primordial eye, filled with all the eyes that had ever been and would ever be.

Ответ для Fidel Destro

Every black hole is a biblically accurate black hole.

Ответ для Fidel Destro

I quaked with fear. I trembled. My heart thumped at my chest like a beast desperate to escape its cage. Because I had faced this foe before... this oblivion that had chased me since childhood, and finally it had me pinned down and I could not run away.

Ответ для Fidel Destro

And when I looked inside it, I realized that it was looking back at me, and it said quite simple, "Don't panic." I had never felt so loved and embraced before, and I exploded into tears and laughter, like a lunatic in the night.